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It's Better This Way(71)

Author:Debbie Macomber

“I nearly went crazy when I heard you’d left.”

“I should have—”

“No,” he stopped her, and then, as if he couldn’t help himself, he kissed her again and again.

Wrapped in his arms, she felt his love surround her, and in that instant she knew he was her heart and soul, and at the same time, she was his. They were meant to be together.

As her father had reminded her countless times: It’s better this way. She wouldn’t have believed it when she’d signed the legal document that had ended her marriage to Eddie. Brokenhearted as she’d been, she’d found herself unable to see past the blinding pain of loss. All she could see were the empty years ahead without the man she had thought she’d grow old with. The man she’d loved.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.

She smiled and gently kissed him before leading him into her kitchen, where she made them each coffee.

Heath sat at her kitchen table and held the mug between his hands. Julia sat across from him. He stretched out his arm and gripped hold of her fingers with his own. “I talked to Michael, and Julia, I am so, so sorry for the things my son said.”

“You don’t need to apologize, Heath, it wasn’t you.”

“I was sick at heart when he mentioned you’d gone to his office. Why didn’t you tell me that was what you’d planned?”

In hindsight, she should have. “Because I knew you would try to talk me out of it.”

He seemed to weigh her words. “You’re right, I probably would have. Why did you think going to my son was necessary?”

“I had to try to make peace. I’d hoped if I apologized for my part in all this, we might be able to move past the tension between your sons and me. I knew it would be too much to ask Michael and Adam to become friends with my girls, but I’d sincerely hoped things could change with me and them.” It hurt that her attempt had failed; she so wanted matters to be different. She hated that loving Heath would risk his relationship with his children. She couldn’t bear it if it did.

“I love you all the more for trying, Julia. In time, I have to believe my sons will come around.”

“Carrie mentioned that you went to dinner with Hillary and Marie?” This was a big encouragement.

“Hillary and I had a couple conversations while I was in the hospital. It was a rough start, but she recognized how important you are to me and was willing to listen. She reminds me a lot of you. She might be stubborn like her father, but she was willing to listen and willing to fill me in on a few details I didn’t know. Your daughters have your back, Julia. Once they understood how precious you are to me, they were both willing to give me the benefit of the doubt.”

The fact that her daughters were supportive of Heath being a part of her life meant the world to Julia.

Heath’s eyes grew sad and weary. “I can only pray that one day Michael and Adam will realize all you mean to me and accept that nothing is ever going to change the way I feel about you.”

Julia bowed her head, fearing that might now be impossible.

“I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life, but, Julia, you aren’t one of them.”

“We all made mistakes, Heath, you can’t beat yourself up over the past. We have to let go of the things we cannot change and move forward.”

“I’ve been thinking about when Lee decided she no longer wanted to be married to me.” He paused and looked past her, as if he found it difficult to continue. “I let Lee have her way,” he continued. “We’d grown apart and had different interests. When she decided she wanted to learn to play golf and signed up for lessons with Edward, I didn’t give it a second thought. She wanted me to join her, and I refused. In fact, I encouraged her, so she could go out on the course with her friends. I had no interest in playing myself. She didn’t want to sail with me, so why should I make the effort to take golf lessons with her? How different our lives would be if I’d agreed.”

“Eddie gave lessons to countless women through the years. I don’t see what you did that was so wrong.”

“Don’t you see?” he asked. “I figured, fine, she wanted out, then I wasn’t about to fight her. If we split, I didn’t feel it would have a negative effect on the boys, who were on their own by that time.”

Julia knew what he was saying, as she felt the same thing when it came to Hillary and Marie. Their daughters had been in college, about to start their own lives. While she didn’t want the divorce, and fought to save her marriage, deep down she felt her daughters would adjust without serious emotional consequences. Little did she understand what the divorce would do to their relationship with their father.

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