“I’ll have you know, Ian has never had plastic surgery. He comes by his good looks naturally.”
Leah scoffs. “I’m talking about his insides. The man is as fake as a Nada, you know, those bags you can buy on the sidewalk that are supposedly Pradas? Or the Nolex, the sidewalk Rolex.”
I weave through the busy rush hour crowd at a fast clip. “What’s your problem with him, anyway? I’ve never understood it.”
I slow my pace and sniff the air. Over the exhaust I smell something delicious. Something really delicious, like cinnamon and honey and butter. I look around at the food carts and all the first-floor businesses. Leather repair, thrift store, bodega, laundry, candy store, deli. Wait, under the letters Candy Store are the words egg cream and fresh beignet. My stomach growls.
“I don’t have a problem with him, I just don’t think he’s good enough for my baby sister,” Leah says.
Huh. Alright.
I push the door open to the candy store and am rewarded with the scent of fried dough and sugar. “Three dozen beignets and four chocolate egg creams,” I tell the older man behind the counter.
“Where are you?” Leah asks.
“I don’t know. Getting delicious food.”
“Are you with Ian?”
“Why would I be with Ian?”
“Who knows? Why are you getting so much food? Hang on. Mary! Stop vacuuming your sister’s hair. Maemie, put the Kool-Aid down…don’t you spill it, don’t you do it. So help me, Mary, pull the vacuum away.”
“Thanks,” I mouth as I’m handed a warm bag of beignets and a cardboard container full of drinks. I head back onto the street. I’m only a few blocks from Clive’s Comics.
“Maybe I do need you to babysit,” jokes Leah.
I chuckle. “You guys having fun?”
“Mhmm. Speaking of…what’s this I hear about Josh coming by the other week?”
I wrinkle my nose. Leave it to Leah to ask about this.
“Eh. He’s bored at his dad’s place, I guess. He’ll take whatever company he can get.”
She makes a disbelieving noise. “I guess. I didn’t think you guys were close—” She lets out a gasp, and then, “Mary are you vacuuming Maemie’s Kool-Aid out of her glass? That is not a safe choice! Sorry, Gemma, I gotta go. I cannot wait until Oliver gets back from his business trip. Lord, give me patience.”
I stifle a laugh. “Okay. Bye, give the kiddos kisses for me.”
I let out a sigh of relief. Saved by the proverbial bell, aka the twins at the height of mischief making. I’ll have to bring them an extra-special present next week.
Leah hangs up, and my phone earbuds start to play music again. But I’ve made it. I’m at the sidewalk cellar door to Clive’s Comics.
The beignets and egg creams were a hit. The pink room is filled with the scent of fried sugar and my stomach is happy. I lean back in my metal folding chair and lick the sugar from my fingers.
“So, explain to me how this works,” Brook asks. She scowls at me, but the effect is ruined by the dusting of sugar on the tip of her nose. “You’re dating Ian Fortune, he says he wants a serious relationship, and he doesn’t care that you’re using another man’s sperm to have a baby.”
“Correct,” I say. Then I take another sip of my delicious chocolate egg cream. Ian and I talked about it last night at his place. He said that he respects my modern sensibilities and my refreshing view on relationships. I have no idea why after so many years working for him Ian has finally noticed me, but I’m not going to question the intervention of fate.
“And your FF,” Brook continues, “doesn’t mind that you’re dating Ian Fortune, sleeping with Ian Fortune—”
“I’m not sleeping with him—”
“And possibly having a long-term relationship with Ian Fortune. Explain that to me,” Brook finishes.
“Easy,” I say.
Carly and Hannah put down their beignets and turn to listen too.
“My donor,” not FF—FF according to Carly means Fertility Fetishizer—“is, like I said, a good guy. You guys were full of it. He doesn’t have a fetish, or hundreds of sperm donations floating around the country, and he isn’t planning on blackmailing me—”
Carly raises her eyebrows and Hannah covers her mouth to smother a laugh.
“You asked him?” Brook asks. “You actually asked him if he has a fertility fetish?”
I wince in embarrassment. It wasn’t one of my better moments.