I’m flushed and wanting and there’s nothing more I need in the world than him to spread himself on top of me.
His eyes never leave me as he pulls off his shoes and socks, then his pants, and finally his shirt.
Goodness.
Everywhere that I’m soft, he’s hard. His shoulders are bulky, his chest and abs muscular and defined.
While I’m curvy and soft, he’s all long lines and strength. I pull in a breath. Only his boxers are still on and I can see him straining against them.
Then he slips them over his legs and he springs free.
I let out a sharp breath, then I hold open my arms, inviting Josh to the floor.
He gives me a different smile than I’ve ever seen him give anyone before. But I don’t have time to think about it because when he lowers his body over mine all thought leaves my mind.
I can only feel.
His knees nudge my legs apart, and I open for him. He kisses his way up my neck, across my chin and to my lips. When his mouth takes mine, he positions himself at my core. I tilt my hips up.
“Gemma,” he whispers into my mouth.
Then, he slides in.
I cry out and cling to his shoulders. I’ve never felt anything like this, never in my life. I clench around him and hang on as he starts to move.
My word.
Josh is inside me. He’s making love to me, he’s making me feel things I’ve never felt before.
Every time he thrusts, my entire body lights up and intense pleasure rides through me all the way from my head to my toes. I’m climbing closer and closer and closer. He’s pulled my legs around him and his hands are cupping my breasts, my shoulders, clasping my hands. He’s touching me everywhere, kissing me everywhere. I’m rocking with him, pulling him close. Then, I feel the moment he loses all control.
Because he grabs both my hands, holds me down, and thrusts into me fast and hard. So hard that I toss my head back and forth and cling to him. All I can do is hang on, because I’m almost there. I’ve had a million little explosions of pleasure, and they’re all building and building, then Josh shouts my name and pulls me closer and I can feel him losing himself inside me. He’s thick and hot and he’s saying my name over and over. And when he does, everything inside me unravels.
I’m lost.
I’m completely lost in him.
Me and Josh Lewenthal, making love on the floor.
When I’m boneless and sated, Josh turns on his side and fits my back into his chest, spooning me on the hardwood. I can feel the thundering of his heart. He smooths my hair back from my face. I lay on my side and take everything in. I’m sore, sated, achy and happy. Josh trails his hand from my neck down my back, tracing the line of my spine.
I remember the text that I sent him of my naked back. I wonder if he’s thinking of it. His fingers run leisurely over my spine and I tilt toward him. My breathing has slowed and I feel like I’ve almost come back to earth. So much so that the hardwood floor is becoming uncomfortable.
In fact, the hard coldness reminds me of my parents’ garage floor.
A flicker of unease passes through me. The last time Josh and I had sex, we ended up on the floor. It was fast and dirty. Just like this time.
He moaned my name and…yes…stroked my back, just like this time.
And then he went to college and I didn’t see him for six years.
Because, just like every other guy in my life, I didn’t really mean all that much to him.
Oh.
Oh no.
The only thing different about this time than the last was that I initiated the sex this time. I jumped him and he seemed surprised.
He wasn’t expecting sex. He didn’t necessarily want sex. But it’s been two years for him, hasn’t it? He probably would’ve had sex with any woman who threw themselves at him like that.
Oh no, what have I done?
In my stupidity, I complicated things horribly.
When I started this whole thing I just wanted a sperm donor. A nice, uncomplicated, business-like arrangement with a decent guy. We had a contract, visitation agreements. No complications. None.
My body runs cold and I wrap my arms around myself.
Josh’s hand stills on my back. “You okay?” he asks. “Were you not supposed to have sex?” He sounds worried.
I sit up and start to pull on my clothes. My pants and sweater are cold from the draft that comes in off the floorboards. “No. No. It’s alright. I can have…sex.”
I flush and turn my face away from him.
From the corner of my eye I can see him stare at me, a confused expression on his face. Then, he pulls on his boxers and his pants.