“You should have called first,” says Ted, clearing his throat.
“I tried. The landline has been cut off.” She looks down at her feet, eyelids fluttering. “And I’m afraid I had to erase your mobile number when I left, in case I called in a moment of weakness, Teddy.”
Teddy? Ted is not a Teddy. I look at Ted; his eyes are closed. When he opens them, he glances across at me and, maybe I’m imagining it, but I can tell he doesn’t want me here for this.
“Shall I be mother and make tea?” Belinda offers, biting her impossibly bee-stung lower lip.
“I should leave you to it,” I say, waving a hand between them.
“No,” Ted says firmly, “there’ll be nothing said you can’t hear. I thought we said everything on the phone, Bell?”
He calls her Bell. A whole history no one else will ever share. Belinda turns her attention to me and gives me a wicked smile.
“She’s very young.” I feel my skin grow hot and my eyes drop to the ground. She laughs. “I taught him everything he knows, so you can thank me later.”
“Bell, stop it.” Ted growls.
“Sorry.” Belinda sighs and smiles. “You know I’m only teasing.” Then she rolls her eyes.
It’s too much. I can’t be here any longer; I’ll cry, and that will make me look like a pathetic little girl next to this confident, formidable woman.
“I’m going to go,” I say, turning to walk up the hill.
“Don’t,” Ted says, his eyes full of pain, but I know me being here will just make this more difficult for him.
“Honestly, it’s fine, I need to make some calls anyway. I’ll catch up with you later.” I attempt my best nonchalant smile, like I find myself in this kind of love triangle every day of the week. Now I come to think of it, I guess I was sort of in a love triangle with Jasper and Ted . . . Maybe I do find myself in a lot of love triangles. Despite feeling conflicted, I definitely preferred being the one in the middle. Better to be the one choosing than the person someone chooses between, especially when the competition looks like a combination of Audrey Hepburn and Angelina Jolie.
I pick up both my phones from just inside the porch and then try to stop myself from glancing back at the lawn, but I can’t. They’re in the middle of the garden hugging; Ted’s shoulders are rising and falling as though he might be crying. I shouldn’t have turned around; now I feel like my feet have been whisked from beneath me by an undercurrent, and I’m being pulled, powerless, out to sea, away from my Ted-shaped shore. My heart breaks a little for Ted too—he was so lost, not knowing where she’d gone, and now here she is, in his garden, two days after he finally took off his ring.
As soon as I’m far enough away from the house, I furiously blink my eyes, determined not to cry. The light is on in the workshop. As I knock gently on the open door, Ilídio turns off the electric sander he is working with.
“Laura, what’s wrong?” he asks, his face full of concern.
“Nothing,” I say, shaking my head firmly. “Can I just sit in here for a bit?”
“Of course,” he says, putting down his tools and cracking his knuckles. There’s something strangely reassuring about the sound. “I’ll put the kettle on.”
The comfort of a kettle. And then I start thinking that maybe it’s quite nice to give your kettle a nickname, especially if you live alone, and maybe Aunt Monica is on to something. I might name my own kettle—Kevin, perhaps. Then I sit, and I make jewelry, and I try not to think about the man of my dreams talking to the woman he loved, only a few hundred yards away.
* * *
*
I’d like to say the jewelry distracts me, that I get into perfect flow again, but I don’t; I burn my hand on the soldering iron, and I can’t stop staring at my phone, hoping for him to call me, to tell me she has gone.
My phone is full of texts:
Suki: Laura, I want the work phone back. Take a few days of personal time to get your head together, but I will expect you back in the office next Monday. I don’t want to lose a perfectly good employee over this nonsense.
Vanya: WHOA, what happened in that interview? Everyone’s saying you quit. You are on fire, girl!! Though maybe you absorbed Tiger Woman’s roar mantra a little too literally? Hope you’re OK, call if I can help. X
Vanya: PS Thought Jasper looked HOT. Is he your Gale or your Peeta?
Jasper: I got two kitchen enquiries off the back of our broadcast! Plus, Suki wants to include Contessa Kitchens in an interiors feature next month. Thank you for the intro. Sorry you didn’t think our floorplans were in alignment, all the best. x J