Elspeth’s eyes light up when I come into her bedroom. I help her to the bathroom and turn on the shower for her. Her en-suite has been converted to accommodate a walk-in shower with a seat so that she doesn’t fall. I turn away and pretend to organize the towels on the rail as she gets undressed. I wait for her in her bedroom as she showers, busying myself straightening her bed and throwing open the curtains. Usually she’ll come out wrapped in a towel. But today she calls me. ‘Una! I need help getting up.’ I rush into the bathroom, assuming she’s fallen, but she’s perched on the edge of her shower seat, gripping the handrail but not moving, her arms rigid as though she’s seized up.
‘Are you okay?’ I say, pushing the panic from my voice as I reach into the cubicle and turn off the shower. The water sprays up my arm and shoulder, drenching my top.
She shakes her head. She’s shivering. Goosebumps have popped up along her body, her flesh wrinkled and sagging, like the skin on an uncooked chicken breast. I grab a towel and try to wrap it around her, but she pushes it off angrily. ‘Just help me up,’ she snaps.
I do as she says, not sure where to grab her, her skin wet and slippery. She clings to me as we clumsily make our way into the bedroom. She sits on the edge of the bed, still naked and not at all self-conscious about it, while I hover with a towel, trying not to look as though I’m uncomfortable with her nudity. She snatches it out of my hand. Still she doesn’t cover up with it, but pats herself dry. She must be freezing but she takes ages over it. I retrieve the outfit she’s chosen to wear – another twinset. Usually she’s happy to dress herself and I only need to assist with doing up buttons, but this time she sits there like a child while I help her step into her underwear. She doesn’t speak while I do all this, and I wonder if I’ve managed to offend her somehow.
Once she’s brushed her teeth and tidied her chignon – it’s stayed in place since her trip to the hairdresser yesterday – she turns to me. ‘You’d better change your top. You’re soaking.’ She stares pointedly at my now see-through T-shirt. ‘In fact, take it off now. Carole can dry it. She’ll be in later.’ I hesitate. ‘Oh, Una,’ she sighs, ‘for someone so young, you’re awfully priggish. We’re all girls together.’
She’s right. I’m being ridiculous. I take off my T-shirt and hand it to her. It’s my favourite. I’ve had it for ever but I love the rose colour and the shiny metallic star that decorates the front.
‘Thanks,’ I say stiffly, as she takes it.
‘Go on, then,’ she says, when I just stand there as though rooted to the plush carpet. ‘I’ll wait here for you while you change.’
‘Right. Okay.’ I run from the room, confused. What was all that about? Elspeth was perfectly fine to get out of the shower herself. I grab a jumper and return to her. She is waiting patiently on her bed. There is no sign of my T-shirt.
Aggie is already in the kitchen, although it’s only seven. She’s doing a ‘healthy’ fried breakfast with chicken sausages and grilled bacon today. I notice that Kathryn is already sitting at the table, tucking into her food. She’s dressed in her usual shapeless skirt and floral blouse. She looks up when I enter and surveys me without smiling, her eyes running over my short skater skirt and thick tights. Elspeth’s already told me she leaves early when she stays over so that she can pop home and take the boys to school before heading to her job at the art gallery.
‘So, how was your day off?’ Kathryn asks, when we’ve all sat down. Aggie is hovering with the tea. I could get used to this. All my meals cooked, and being waited on. Although, if I’m honest, I don’t feel comfortable with Aggie doing all this for me when I’m just ‘the help’ too, like her. She doesn’t seem to mind waiting on us, though – in fact, she seems to enjoy it and buzzes around us like a wasp that’s ingested too much sugar.
‘It was good, thanks,’ I say, after swallowing a mouthful of bacon. ‘I met up with Courtney –’
‘Who’s Courtney?’ interjects Elspeth, looking at me sternly over her bone-china mug.
‘My best friend. We used to live together but now her boyfriend has moved in with her instead.’ I don’t know why I tell her this extra snippet of information. Maybe because I want her to know I can’t move back in with Courtney, that I’m not about to do a moonlight flit, like Jemima did.
Elspeth frowns, her bright blue eyes boring into me. It unnerves me so I concentrate on the plate of food in front of me. I wonder if Kathryn’s told her she saw me with Vince. I don’t know why I feel guilty about it, like I’m breaking some rule. It’s not like I sneaked him into my room and spent the night with him.