I shrugged. ‘That’s the plan. I’m going to complete the whole list solo, and hopefully figure some things out as I go.’
Sam looked at me steadily for a moment while my heart fidgeted about in my chest.
‘You’re not allowed any help?’
‘Well, I’m allowed a bit of help from my friends. Friends, or random strangers.’
‘But not a boyfriend.’
‘No. Not even a date. The friend you met made me sign a contract. A No-Man Mandate.’
‘What else is on this list?’
I smiled. ‘I’m not telling you.’
‘Okay.’ Sam nodded, smiling back as he raised his glass in a toast. ‘Well, good luck with it, and God speed. I look forward to you completing it.’
Um, excuse me?
I managed to just about avoid choking on my tongue, before stuttering a thank you and hotfooting it out of there while that statement zipped about my head like a pinball.
‘He was totally flirting!’ Steph said, when I called her the next day to recount my weekend escapades.
‘I don’t know… he’s so friendly and nice. Maybe he was just being supportive.’
Steph snorted. ‘Yeah, like when Drew said he liked my hair it was a general observation.’
I couldn’t help smiling at this. Drew had joined our school in year twelve, and one week into the new year he’d approached me in the lunch queue to ask who my friend was.
‘Which friend?’ I replied, rolling my eyes as if I actually had more than one friend. Inside, I couldn’t help bracing myself, in the way I’d learnt to do when people spoke about Steph. They didn’t usually mention her weight, but it had come up enough times to make me instinctively on the defensive.
‘The one with the hair.’ His used his hands to demonstrate Steph’s wild mass of curls.
‘Pretty sure all my friends have hair,’ I replied, but I smiled to indicate that I knew who he was talking about, and I approved of him asking. ‘Her name’s Steph.’
The boy grinned in relief, nodding as he filed away the information.
‘Who shall I say’s asking?’
‘Oh! Um. Well. You don’t have to mention it…’
‘She’s my best friend. On what planet wouldn’t I mention that the new boy is asking after her?’
He gripped his rucksack straps with both hands. ‘It’s Drew.’ Turning to go, he paused to add, ‘Oh, and if you’re going to mention it, you could also tell her that I liked the plait thing she did on Monday. And the curls on Tuesday. And the Princess Leia things on Wednesday.’
‘Why don’t you tell her yourself?’ My cheeks were turning pink on Steph’s behalf.
‘Oh, I will,’ he called, walking away. ‘But now she gets to hear it from you, too. She’ll be prepared.’
The next week, Steph had her first kiss, sitting on a park bench in the glow of the September sunset.
A year to the day later, Drew proposed to her on that exact same bench.
Eleven years after that, the most patient man on the planet finally got to marry the love of his life.
‘Even if he was flirting,’ I said, focusing my mind back on the present, ‘it’s irrelevant, isn’t it?’ I paused for a couple of seconds, before asking tentatively, ‘Is it?’
‘For now, then one hundred per cent yes!’ Steph replied firmly. ‘You can’t abandon the No-Man Mandate every time one bats his eyelashes at you. Short-term pain for long-term successful relationship gain, remember?’
‘Yes, sir!’
‘Having said that…’ Her voice softened. ‘It is going to be completely relevant once you’ve finished that list. It’ll be far easier to ask him out now you know he’s interested.’
‘Um, what?’ I retorted. ‘I wasn’t planning on asking him out, and I still don’t know if he’s interested. Even if I’m interested, which I don’t know yet, because I still don’t know what or whom interests me, hence the No-Man Mandate, remember?’
Steph burst out laughing. ‘Whatever, darling, you keep telling yourself that. For now.’
10
The rest of the week was fairly uneventful in comparison to the weekend. Of course, for me, simply waking up in my own house, and getting on with my own life was eventful enough. From Monday to Wednesday, it rained almost continually. I scurried through the woods with my hood up while Nesbit tumbled and sniffed and wagged his tail beside me, and stood huddled for hours under an umbrella while waiting for him to earn a sticker.