‘Sit.’
The little girl gingerly took the tile and sat on it. Within moments the others had joined her, all except for one girl crying in her mother’s lap because she wanted a yellow tile and they were all industrial blue.
‘This week, stories about animals. I shall make an exception to the silence rule, on one condition.’
‘If you ask a question or talk or make a noise then you have to go,’ a boy whispered to his friend, loud enough to have Irene glaring at him down her nose.
‘Questions, chatter and bodily sounds are still forbidden. However, the Library Lady shall permit the appropriate animal noises, as long as they are made at the right time.’
‘Ooh, can I do a donkey?’ someone asked. ‘I’m good at donkeys, listen…’ She then demonstrated her very loud, eerily accurate bray.
‘Sshhhh!’ various other children said anxiously – presumably those who had been here before, and knew the Library Lady did not make idle threats.
‘In case I wasn’t clear,’ Irene huffed, after a second toot. ‘You may produce the correct animal noise when I mention that specific animal in the story. If you make any other sound at any time, you must leave. Does anybody not understand?’
If they did, they weren’t admitting it.
‘Will you help us if we don’t know the right sound?’ a delicate-looking boy of about five asked. ‘I’m scared I won’t know and then I’ll have to go home.’
‘You could just keep quiet and make no sound instead,’ Irene replied.
‘But I want to make a sound. It’s more funner!’
‘It is more fun.’
‘Yes! So will you help me?’
Irene sighed as if already exhausted. ‘Yes. Now, if you are all quite finished, can we please get started?’
I left the Library Lady to it, unable to resist making a few animal noises as I left.
16
Saturday, I left Nesbit with Joan and drove into Nottingham to an outdoor shop. Drew had offered to lend me his camping gear, but I needed to carry everything on my back, so politely declined his offer of a three-man tent with porch awning, four-ring stove and gas fridge. Instead, he helped me pick out a pop-up festival tent, sleeping bag and a spongy bed roll. I also splashed out on a tiny, lightweight gas stove and a torch.
That evening, I had a practice pitch in the garden. The tent didn’t quite pop up in the promised seconds, but it only took a few minutes, so I was happy, and a shortish woman and a dog who was growing bigger every day could just about squeeze in. I made mugs of hot chocolate for myself, Joan and Leanne, who, having accepted my denial of any involvement with children’s services, had just borrowed my shower and oven again.
‘Can I come?’ Joan asked, eagerly peering inside the tent’s light-proof interior.
‘I’m not sure there’d be room,’ I said, completely sure that there wouldn’t.
‘That’s okay, I could sleep outside!’ She quickly lay down on the grass beside the tent. ‘I’m not scared. It’d be like Frodo and Sam. They didn’t need a tent.’
‘They weren’t in England,’ Leanne replied. ‘It’ll be far too cold to sleep outside on the ground. What if it rains?’
‘I’ll bring a warm sleeping bag and tuck myself right in. Frodo didn’t care if it was cold or wet.’
‘Frodo was on a mission to save Middle Earth; he didn’t have any choice in the matter. He also didn’t have a mum to stop him doing anything dangerous or stupid.’ Leanne looked at me. ‘Not that I think your idea is dangerous or stupid. Much.’
‘People go camping all the time!’ Joan huffed.
‘Yes, in campsites with proper facilities and other people around and health and safety measures. What are you going to do without a toilet?’
‘Frodo and Sam didn’t have a toilet!’
‘Frodo and Sam aren’t real!’
Joan thought about that for a minute, still lolling on the grass. ‘What if I got a tent? Ollie will look after me. Not that I need it.’
‘Ollie spends enough time looking after you as it is.’
‘Which I really enjoy doing!’ I interjected. ‘But this is a solo project. I’m nowhere near as brave or resourceful as you, Joan, and I’m setting myself some challenges to try to get better at doing things on my own. If you came, it wouldn’t count.’
Joan sat up and wrapped her hands around her knees, face drooping. ‘Okay.’
‘Maybe later on in the summer all three of us could go to a proper campsite for a few days?’