“Jamie?” MacDonald turned to me.
“Huh?” I said, because I am just that smooth.
“Martin says he saw you and Mr. Sanders conversing privately in the helicopter just before he attempted bribery. What was the conversation about?”
A thought occurred to me, and I filed it away for the moment. “It was about Trading Places.”
MacDonald looked confused. “About the two of you trading places?”
“No,” I said. “There was a movie called Trading Places. It’s from the eighties.”
“The Eddie Murphy flick,” Tom volunteered.
“That’s the one,” I said.
“And you were talking about his movie why?” MacDonald asked.
“It was just part of the conversation. Rob’s a big Eddie Murphy fan.”
MacDonald looked over at Sanders for confirmation. “It’s true,” he said. “Early Eddie, not later Eddie. Although Dolemite Is My Name was pretty good.”
“And you talked about nothing else,” MacDonald said to me.
“Before that, we talked about füdmüd, which was the company he founded and that I worked for before he unceremoniously fired my ass,” I said. “He was trying to tell me that firing me wasn’t personal.”
“What did you think about that?” Tom asked.
“Well, I suddenly had no job and no money and spent the next six months delivering food in the middle of a pandemic. It sure felt personal.”
“Did you tell him that?”
I looked at Sanders. “I mean, he already knows I think he’s an asshole.”
MacDonald nodded. “All right,” she said. She turned back to Sanders. “Congratulations, you’ve had your one strike, Mr. Sanders. You get no others. Step out of line again, annoy or interfere with any KPS staff again, and I don’t care how much money your family has or what your connections are, I’ll make your life miserable. And you will certainly never come back to this side ever again. Are we clear?”
“Yes,” Sanders said. “Thank you. Sorry.”
“Good.” MacDonald looked at her smartwatch. “We have a couple of hours until dinner, so unless there’s something else you need, General, I’m going to suggest we break. I would be delighted to have you and Mr. Sanders here accompany me for the meal, if you’re willing.”
“That would be wonderful, thank you,” Tipton said.
MacDonald nodded. “Six thirty, then,” she said. “I’ll have Jamie come collect you at your quarters.” Everyone got up and exited the room, except for me, who still had to clear the refreshments. I cleaned everything up, put them on my dining cart, and headed out the door toward the dining hall.
Along the way, I saw Tipton and Sanders standing there, talking. I navigated my way toward them; I could see Tipton being animated and poking Sanders in the chest in a pointed way. Tipton saw me coming up, stopped his conversation with Sanders, nodded to me, and wandered off.
“Everything okay?” I asked Sanders.
“I’m being chewed out by everyone today,” he said.
I nodded. “What did the general say?”
“He was telling me that what I did today was the stupidest thing he’s seen a civilian ever do on this side of the fence, and also that the KPS doesn’t care whose son I am or how much money I have, you guys can always find other billionaires to fund you because you have fucking Godzillas, and nerds with cash will line up at the door for that shit. ‘Fucking Godzillas’ is an actual quote, by the way.”
“I’m sure it is,” I said. “Probably also ‘nerds with cash.’”
“You would be correct!” Sanders smiled ruefully. “So, yes, not my best day.”
“It’s not the worst thing in the world to be served up some humility,” I suggested.
“I don’t know about that,” Sanders said, and then remembered something. “You lied in there today for me. About what we talked about before I offered the pilot money.”
“I didn’t lie,” I said. “I was merely selective about our conversational topics.”
“Why did you do that?”
“Why shouldn’t I?”
“Well, for one, you think I’m an asshole.”
“You are an asshole,” I confirmed. “But after a certain point, I think the beatings made their point. Beyond that, it’s just piling on. I think you get it.”
“I’ve certainly learned things today,” Sanders said. “This place isn’t like I expected. Anyway, thank you.”