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Kaiju Preservation Society(87)

Author:John Scalzi

Aparna and I had none. “I have several,” Niamh said.

“Go ahead and get them out of your system,” Kahurangi said, taking his pack off his back and unzipping it to rummage through it.

“First, or more accurately, again, this isn’t even a hypothesis, it’s a guess,” Niamh said. “Based on nothing but a hunch, which is itself based on nothing but you pulling an idea out of your ass.”

“Yes,” Kahurangi agreed. He pulled a small canvas bag out of his pack.

“Second, this is bad science. What we’re about to do isn’t experimentation, it’s like a séance. It’s like homeopathic physics, and I resent that I have to be here for it, and that I agreed to go along with it just because we all felt like we should do something.”

“Okay,” Kahurangi said. He unzipped the bag, and reached into it.

“Third, and for all the reasons previously noted, if this does work, I will absolutely hate you forever.”

“Noted,” Kahurangi said. “Hold out your hand.”

Niamh groaned and did as they were told. Kahurangi dropped four small cylindrical objects into Niamh’s hand.

Uranium fuel pellets.

“This is so stupid,” Niamh groused.

“We know the barrier thins and disappears through nuclear re actions,” Kahurangi said. He fished out another four cylinders. “We also suppose that whoever took Bella found a way to power her over without actually using a true nuclear reaction but using nuclear material.” He motioned to me; I held out my hand. “We know the barrier at the moment is thinner than it would be just on Bella’s power alone, which means there’s some residual effect going on.” He dropped the cylinders into my hand, cool and flat gray. “So it’s not unreasonable to hypothesize that some refined nuclear fuel might have a pronounced effect on the barrier. Maybe even enough for us to push through.”

Niamh grimaced. “I hate this.”

“Also, you didn’t come up with a better idea.”

“Yes, shame on me for feeling bounded by actual science.”

“If it doesn’t work, at least we tried,” Kahurangi said. He’d fished out another four cylinders and offered them to Aparna.

“Reassure me my hand isn’t going to fall off if I take those,” Aparna said.

Kahurangi smiled. “These are unused fuel pellets. If they had been used, they could kill you. As it is, they’re safe to hold for as long as we’re going to use them for.”

Aparna looked over to Niamh. “Kahurangi is a comprehensive load of pants, but this much he has actually got correct,” they assured Aparna.

Aparna nodded, held out her hand, and took the offered fuel pellets. Then Kahurangi fished out the final four pellets, set them down briefly on the ground as he returned the bag to his pack, zipped it, and placed it on his back. He retrieved his four pellets and stood up.

“Ready?” he asked.

“For what?” Niamh said. “To stand around with fuel pellets waiting to see if our hands slip over to our home planet?”

“Basically, yeah.”

“Uuuunnnnngh, this is the worst.”

“I know,” Kahurangi said.

“The actual worst. I feel like they’re going to rescind my doctorate for doing this.”

“I can’t believe I’m the one saying this to you,” Aparna said to Niamh. “But, wow, you’re sure whining a lot right now.”

“This is what bad science does to me! Now you know!”

“Okay, all right, enough,” I said. “It’s a wild and possibly terrible idea, it probably won’t work, and if it doesn’t, then we go back to the base and face our very angry bosses. Until then, let’s hope. Just hope. Fair enough?”

“Works for me,” Kahurangi said.

Aparna nodded again. Niamh rolled their eyes but nodded, too.

“Great,” I said, and closed the fuel pellets in my hand. “Fist bump, everyone.”

Kahurangi grinned and leaned in.

“Love you, kaiju nerds,” Aparna said, both paraphrasing the movie Pitch Perfect and putting out her fist. I was pleased to have caught the reference.

Niamh sighed and leaned in. For the briefest of seconds, all our fists touched.

The world lit up like a fireworks display.

“Oh come the fuck on,” Niamh yelled, and then there was an immense crack, the sound of a sequoia being snapped in half by a lightning strike.

Aparna pointed up, and moved her mouth in a way that said, Look. We all looked.

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