I saw Rama’s bonds brighten around the advisors. “We haven’t been to war in years,” I protested. “Most of you haven’t seen a battlefield. But some of us have, and we know the pain of it. It is not something to aspire to. A granary will help our people, and it will do so without stealing our kingdom’s children.” I looked around, hoping one of the senior ministers, those who had been around when Kosala faced border skirmishes year after year, might agree. But nobody else spoke. When Dasharath asked for a vote, only a third of the council was with me.
“I will consider both proposals,” Dasharath said.
Could I think of the last time he had expressly contradicted the will of the Mantri Parishad? My heart sank.
I waited until after the meeting was over to approach my husband. “Kaikeyi, I must allow Rama to start making decisions,” he said, already knowing why I sought to speak to him.
“But do you agree?” I pressed him. “You have always worked for peace. Stability. The granary will help on both counts.”
“I see the merits of both ideas,” he said. In the Binding Plane, the blue cord lay steady above his shoulders. “So in this instance, I will follow Rama’s will.”
“And the will of the Mantri Parishad,” I reminded him.
“Yes, of course.”
“You truly wish to see Kosala’s armies strengthened for war?”
“Rama has told me of his travels, of the dangers he has seen.” Dasharath’s expression was earnest, but I wondered how much of this was truly what he felt, and how much was what Rama had impressed upon him. “If he believes this to be the right path, then I trust him.”
I could not remember the last time my counsel had been so deftly set aside by Dasharath. I had worked so hard for his respect, for the respect of the Mantri Parishad, and now—
Rama needed to be told what power he held, so he could keep it in check. I had to speak to him directly, not get wrapped up in my own emotions. I pushed aside the hurt and caught up to Rama in the hallway.
“Are you upset?” he asked immediately. “Your idea was a good one, but the necessity of preparation—”
I raised a hand to stop the flow of words. “Do you realize why the rest of the Mantri Parishad agrees with you so readily?” I asked.
He frowned. “Because my ideas are sound, and they respect me.”
“That may be true,” I said, thinking back to what Sita had told me about Rama’s sway over others. “But you also try to move them, do you not? With some innate part of you?”
Rama considered these words, one finger on his cheek in such a boyish gesture that for a moment I had the urge to send him to his room. “I have always been able to see people’s souls,” he said finally. “And perhaps I have used that knowledge, but who wouldn’t? That does not mean I am forcing them into anything.”
“Aren’t you?” I asked. “You are extremely powerful. When you seek to sway someone, have you not considered you might be controlling them instead?”
“I—I don’t know.” Rama turned to face a tapestry spun from dark, shadowy hues. Vishnu’s third avatar, Varaha, stood in the cosmic ocean, his blue-black body half-submerged in the water. On his tusks sat the earth, woven in delicate floss of emerald and sapphire. Varaha had rescued the earth after she had been captured by an asura bent on destroying her. “I suppose… I have never been able to see your soul, and I have always had a hard time persuading you. And the same is true of Sita.”
I considered what to say next. Revealing my true nature to Rama might be the best way to prove to him what he was doing, but I wondered what he would think if he knew what I was. Would he look upon me with suspicion?
No. I was his mother. He loved me, just as I loved him—despite all my other doubts, I was sure of this. “You cannot see my soul because I am different. Because I too can see some of people’s souls. And when I look at them, I can see your influence. Your control. You may not have realized it, but it is there.”
Rama swallowed. The colors of the tapestry devoured the light, leaving shadows on his face. He reached out a hand to touch the flank of the boar, almost reverently. Did he think himself Vishnu, rescuing the earth? “I do not like to know I did such a thing unwittingly, Ma. But—it’s not bad, right? This influence? People want to obey the gods. It must be my gift, this ability to reach people.”
I wanted to shake him. “You are forcing people to do your bidding!” I said. “I am the only one speaking to you clearly, without influence.”