She gave a slight smile. “I suppose, but I have found my way around the rules before. Your dreams have not been wholly barren. And I awoke your son when Bhandasura first attacked you. I sent him the location of a scroll in a dream.”
Lakshmana gaped at her, but I simply said, “I do not want your influence in me. My mind is my own, and that is all I have left.” Even as I spoke it, I wondered what she had already done to me.
“Your mind is still your own. My magic—it is not in your Binding Plane. It simply soothes your body into sleep, or into wakefulness.” She now looked less than divine, as though she had taken on my own fatigue. My experience with gods was admittedly limited, but I did not expect Nidra to seem so… mortal. “But I did not come here for you.”
“Of course not,” I said, but there was no heat in my voice.
Nidra turned away. “Lakshmana, you are a virtuous man. I have been in your mind before this, and I know you are steadfast. Is it your intention to guard Sita every moment of the day for the next ten years?”
“It is,” Lakshmana said from his position on the ground.
“Even the gods must sleep,” Nidra said. “But as the goddess of sleep, I will make an exception for you.”
“Thank you, Devi.”
“Do not thank me yet. As with all things, there is a price. Someone else must take on the burden of sleep for you. For these ten years, they will sleep for nearly the whole day and spend only a few waking hours each evening. If you can find someone willing to shoulder this responsibility, I will grant you this allowance.”
“I will do it,” Urmila said at once. “I will take this burden if it means that Lakshmana can protect my sister and stay alive.”
“No, you cannot,” Lakshmana said, quiet desperation in his tone. I did not need the Binding Plane to see there was a deep affection between my son and his wife. “I will not ask you to do such a thing.”
“You do not have to ask me,” Urmila said. “I have already made this decision. I am not as bold as Sita or as brave as Radnyi Kaikeyi. I will have nothing to contribute to Ayodhya, but I can do this. And in ten years, I will have my life back once more. I will have you and my sister back. It is not a death sentence.”
I had never truly gotten to know Urmila, something that I now regretted. Clearly, she was an extraordinary young woman. I knew I would not have been willing to make such a sacrifice at her age.
“Very well,” Nidra proclaimed. “It is done. From the first night that Lakshmana stays awake until he returns to Ayodhya or loses his life, you, Urmila, will pay the cost of his sleeplessness.” She turned toward me. “If you have need of my powers, you may pray to me. We minor goddesses cannot do much, but I promise that from now on, I will answer. And perhaps I will not be the only one.”
A gust of wind blew through the fully enclosed room. I blinked, and when I opened my eyes, the goddess was gone.
Urmila and Lakshmana rose to their feet, rubbing their knees. “I had never heard of the goddess of sleep before,” Urmila said.
I turned to look at her. “I would bet anything that your sister has heard of her. But it matters not.”
“It matters a great deal,” Urmila said. “She has just blessed us. Or cursed us.”
“It is all right,” Lakshmana said softly. He came to me, first touching my feet and then embracing me. “Goodbye, Ma. Do not worry. I will do my best.”
Somehow I managed to wrap my arms around him. “I know,” I said. “Please be safe.”
And then, in another moment, they were gone. I sank back on my bed, my eyelids suddenly heavy as iron. I watched Lakshmana’s back vanish as my eyes dragged closed.
For the first time in my life, after the worst day of my life, sleep came easily.
I awoke with total lucidity, just as the sun’s rays brushed the edge of the horizon. And with that clarity of thought came the realization that I needed to speak to Rama one more time.
I knew without much reflection where I would find him. And sure enough, he stood with Shatrugna on the palace’s training field, conversing in low tones.
“I did not expect to see you, Ma,” Rama said without turning.
Shatrugna, however, spun to face me. His usually sweet face filled with hatred. “What are you doing here? How dare you—”
“Shatrugna. Please leave us,” Rama said. Shatrugna looked back at Rama, and then pushed past me without another word.
“This whole time I thought I could convince you,” Rama said softly. “This whole time, I thought you were on my side. But it turns out you were deceiving me. Deceiving everyone. Everyone else was right about you, and I was a fool.”