I stood there unable to believe what had happened, repeating the events in my head over and over. I had seen hatred in her eyes as she left. In my mind’s eye, I could see her face clouding over with ugly anger, directed at me. My stomach churned, and I reentered the Binding Plane, hoping to find this had all been a silly nightmare. But our orange bond was nowhere to be seen. A tear slipped down my face, my vision blurring as the Plane disappeared, but I brushed it away. It was stupid to cry over a servant who would turn on me so readily. But she had been more than that. She had been my friend, one of the few I’d had. And this was my own fault.
For it had been a normal enough request, and even if she had not wished to listen, that would not have ordinarily warranted such a reaction. The only thing out of the ordinary was that I had used the Binding Plane. Rather than merely annoying her, it appeared as though I had broken our connection. Did this mean, then, that my friendship with Neeti was over forever? That there was nothing connecting us anymore? Surely the effects of overusing the Plane would not be so severe—and yet, at potentially great consequence to herself, she had whispered those hateful words to me. Years of friendship gone in an instant, and over something so unimportant.
I had to be exceedingly careful about using the Plane on those I cared about. What if I had accidentally done this with my father… or Manthara, or Yudhajit? Just the idea brought the taste of acid to my mouth. My hands shook.
How could I have been so foolish? I should have known better than to use this power without thought, without knowing its full extent.
I would have to go to the Sarasvati alone. It was what I deserved.
For the first few days of our ride, I was subdued. Yudhajit tried to pull me into mischief, but all I could think about was Neeti. Every day I checked for our bond, but found nothing. But eventually the shock of it faded, and I joined Yudhajit, Shantanu, and Mohan racing through the camp in the evenings, chasing one another and shrieking with laughter. I reveled in the freedom I was afforded, for my opportunities to play with my brothers were becoming more and more scarce. We ran in and out of the forests near our camps, the air under the leaves cool and refreshing after a sweaty day of riding. We tried to catch small creatures, squirrels and little gray rabbits, and climbed up the branches of the smaller trees.
The day before we were due to arrive at the river, Yudhajit snuck into my tent and shook me awake. As the only royal girl, I slept alone with a guard posted outside the front of my tent—but clearly nobody had thought to protect the back flap. I had been in the throes of a nightmare that was already slipping away, and perhaps it was the adrenaline already coursing through me that made me hear him out instead of going back to sleep.
“The soldiers said that an elephant was seen in these forests not too long ago,” he whispered. “I want to go find it. Come with me?”
Yudhajit knew as well as I that elephants did not live in our kingdom. They lived in the south of Bharat, far from our cooler climates. “They must have been joking.”
“No, they said it was one of the elephants of the gods.” His voice grew more excited as he spoke. “A white elephant.”
My eyes widened. White elephants were incredibly rare, and even seeing one at a distance was considered a great blessing. The stories said that the first white elephant had risen out of the churning of the ocean.
But it was the middle of the night, and we were in unfamiliar forests.
“Come on, Kaikeyi,” he cajoled. “Nobody will know.”
I could never resist Yudhajit for long. I shooed him out and quietly pulled on a dark kurta before joining him outside. It was a few days before the full moon, so there was ample light to navigate by, but the cold silver glow gave the forest an eerie cast. I suppressed a shiver and followed Yudhajit as he confidently plunged into the woods.
“How do you know where to go?”
“Elephants need water, right? We have to find a pool.”
As far as I knew, Yudhajit had no interest in geography. “This is a huge forest. We’re searching for one animal within it.” I turned and looked back toward the camp, which was nearly obscured by the tall trees, their branches swaying slightly in the wind. “Are you certain about this?”
“I’m praying to find it,” Yudhajit said. “You should be praying to Lord Ganesha too. With his guidance, I am sure we will be blessed to see it.”
I stared at Yudhajit’s back for a moment, envious of his easy confidence. Then I followed him once more.
We remained silent as we marched, wary of garnering the attention of any passing predators. At some point, we twined our fingers together, not wanting to get lost in the darkness caused by the thick canopy. Just when my feet were beginning to tire, and I was going to suggest we turn back, Yudhajit gave a soft gasp. “Do you hear that?”