I walked to the Yagna, shivering in the cool morning air. We had all been dressed in plain yellow cotton saris that did little to warm our bodies. Sage Rishyasringa lit the sacred fire, and despite the smoke, I was grateful for the beacon of warmth before me.
Much of the ceremony passed in a fog of sadness and hunger and exhaustion. The sage would intone prayers and instruct Dasharath to repeat holy words after him. Every so often, we would be instructed to sprinkle water into the fire and speak a mantra or make offerings of flowers or fruits to the flames. The sage scraped ashes from the fire and used his thumb to apply them to our foreheads, marking us as Dasharath’s wives. At his command, we rose to our feet and completed three pradakshina, circling the statues of the gods and the flames while we repented any sinful acts of our past. I thought of Neeti, how I had so foolishly lost her friendship. I thought of Yudhajit, how even though he had been at fault, my cruelty had sealed our fate. And even though I had not forced her away, my mother’s face flashed before me. I had lost so many people.
I walked around the flame in a daze, not looking up from my own feet. My mind felt hazy, half-removed from the world. Perhaps that is why I did not notice anything amiss until Sumitra shrieked my name, her hand pulling me back. I stumbled, not quite reaching her, and felt at my back an all-consuming heat.
Never take your eyes off—
I spun back toward the sacred fire. But it was gone, replaced by a column of pure flame towering above me. Before I could move away from the radius of destruction, a male form coalesced out of the blaze. He stepped forward, eyes falling immediately on me. Despite the heat, a shiver ran down my spine. I recognized him.
Agni, god of fire.
His hair and eyes were molten gold, his skin a searing red. Bright light fell off him as though he was the sun. He towered over me, taller even than the half-rakshasa Ravana had been.
“Why do you not bow before me?” he asked, voice crackling. Out of the corner of my eye I saw that all the others, even Dasharath, had dropped to their knees.
“I do not know,” I answered. My lips were incapable of forming a lie. Raw power came from him in waves.
“Kaikeyi,” he intoned, each syllable like the strike of a gong in my head. He approached me and placed a single finger under my chin. Instant pain rose where he touched me. He tilted my face up toward his, and I fought down a scream at the unbearable heat.
Instead, I made myself look into his burning golden eyes. I would not show the gods weakness, no matter how they hurt me.
His lips quirked upward into a smirk. “Radnyi Kaikeyi. We have expected you.”
I blinked at that. “Expected me?” I echoed, jerking my chin from his grasp. Cool relief.
“You think we ignore you for our amusement?” he asked, voice a whisper. “There is a reason.”
“Why?” I demanded. “What have I done?” I hated that I needed so badly to know.
“It’s not what you have done,” he said. All mirth had left him. “It is what you will do.”
“What will I do?” I asked. “Tell me and let me be done with it.” Behind me I could sense the quiet murmurs of the watching crowd. Half of Ayodhya had turned out to witness the spectacle of the Yagna. And now they watched as Agni singled out the third wife of the raja. How would I explain this to Dasharath, to the others?
“I cannot tell you that,” he said. “But the gods-touched are immune to the charms of the gods. Forsaken. You are forsaken.” He brushed past me then and strode purposefully toward Dasharath.
“Gods-touched?” I called after him. “What does that mean?”
But he had already forgotten me, turning instead to the raja. In the god’s hands appeared a small silver pot, and Dasharath was nodding, smiling, prostrating himself to touch Agni’s feet.
I managed to gain enough control over myself to find the Binding Plane. I did not know why, but my instinct in this frightening situation was to flee there, to a place where I had power. Gray overlaid the world and I searched for Agni, hoping to demand answers.
He was not there.
In the Binding Plane, even his shadow had disappeared. The space in front of me stood empty, and I reached out a hand, hoping to touch the blank spot where I knew a god should stand. But there was nothing.
“Feed this kheer to your three wives,” Agni rumbled, and I jerked my hand back, exiting the Plane to see Agni still standing by Dasharath. I blinked the magical threads back into existence, and once again, the god disappeared.
“Once they have consumed it,” Agni continued, “they will bear you strong sons.” His voice had amplified so the whole crowd could hear him. Perhaps the whole city.