I could not hide the shock I felt at his sincerity, and for a long moment, I was rooted where I stood, staring. Then he reached out a hand, and I let him brush his fingers along my lips and across my cheek.
“I will be along shortly,” he said.
I swallowed hard and turned on my heels. Before I knew it, I was running out the sanctuary doors—the doors I’d entered as a princess and left as a queen—while Nadia followed after me.
Six
“Issi, wait!” Nadia called.
I didn’t stop running until I was halfway across the garden. The evening had faded, and there was no hint of the setting sun, only darkness and starlight. My chest rose and fell, and I turned my head toward the sky.
I had married the Blood King.
I was his wife.
I had never been so conflicted, so frustrated with the push and pull of my body. I felt in extremes—deep hatred and burning desire. There was no middle ground, no safe way to go about this. We would come together, and we would erupt.
Nadia finally caught up with me, breathless.
“By the goddess, you run fast!” she complained. Once she was recovered, she asked, “Are you all right?”
I could not answer, and Nadia must have taken that as a sign of shock.
“Of course you aren’t,” she said. “You just married a monster.”
I flinched, though her words were true.
She continued. “I cannot believe the vulgar—”
“Can we not talk about it, Nadia?” I knew well enough what Adrian had said. His words had burrowed deep under my skin. “Let’s just get this over with.”
I started toward the castle, and Nadia followed. “You will kill him, won’t you?”
I didn’t respond. It was not that I wouldn’t try; it was that I didn’t know if it would work.
I did not return to my room or my mother’s. Instead, Nadia led me to another suite in the east tower where guests usually stayed. Except that no one had come to the borders of Lara since the Blood King had begun his invasion, save for Adrian himself. Inside, the room smelled like dust. A large bed took up the far wall, the four posters decorated in swathes of dark velvet. A set of windows looked out over the woods and would offer a remarkable view of the sunrise tomorrow. A metal bath waited, full of steaming water.
Nadia helped me out of my gown, and before it could puddle at my feet, I turned to face her. I kept my hand over my chest, in part to hold the dress up but also to keep the blade I’d shoved between my breasts from falling to the ground.
“Can I be alone, Nadia?”
It was the second time I’d dismissed her, but this time, she didn’t hesitate.
“Of course. I’ll…check on you tomorrow.”
“Wait until I summon you,” I said. “Please.”
I did not know what tomorrow would bring, but I knew I’d want time to collect myself.
She stared, and after a moment, she took my face into her hands, pressing a kiss to my forehead. “If he hurts you…”
“He won’t hurt me,” I said and then thought, unless I hurt him. “I can take care of myself, Nadia.”
“But should you have to?” she asked.
“Perhaps you should ask your goddess,” I said.
It wasn’t a fair thing to say, but it was how I felt.
Nadia sighed, and I noticed the shadows beneath her eyes as she spoke, “I love you, sweet girl.”
“I love you,” I whispered, the words barely audible as she closed the door behind her.
Once she was gone, I released my dress, and as it fell to the floor, I pulled the blade from beneath my chemise and crossed the room to shove it behind the bed where the mattress met the frame. I only hoped I could reach it when I needed it.
When my weapon was in place, I discarded the shift and lowered myself into the bath, reveling in this time to myself, because I knew, at least for the next week, I would not be alone again. I pushed those thoughts away and instead focused on my bath—on the heat of the water, the steam that made me sweat, the vanilla-scented oil that pooled on the surface.
I stayed in the water until it was cold and then scrubbed my skin, probably too hard, trying to remove the still-lingering feel of Adrian’s touch. It was futile since I would see him soon, but I hoped that maybe I could erase the feeling of want, of need, of desire he had inspired inside me.
It didn’t work.
I left the bath still humming with an electric energy I needed to expend. I toweled off and slipped into nothing but a sheer red robe, not bothering to tie it. The point of this wasn’t to hide. I was putting myself on display—meat on a hook for the predator to taste—but it would also show Adrian I was unarmed, and hopefully he would let his guard down.