My mood instantly darkened at the news. Feeding meant that he was with Safira.
Miha paused what she was working on, which looked like a carving of some kind, and asked, “Have you need of him? I can relay a message.”
“No,” I said, gritting my teeth. I realized I could not expect Adrian not to feed, especially when I was unwilling to give him my blood. Still, I could not escape what I’d seen in the tent—the way he had held her, how she had clung to him. His mouth, his skin, his body, it was mine. I did not like that Safira felt she was somehow entitled to my husband because he fed from her.
I sat beside Sorin with my back to the fire.
“If it bothers you that much, just offer him your vein,” Sorin said.
I glared at him. “That will never happen.”
He gave a wry smile, exchanging a glance with both Isac and Miha. Still, as I watched them, I found I had questions about that too.
“Tell me more about it,” I said.
“What do you want to know?” Sorin asked.
“I don’t know. Blood is your sustenance, correct? Does everyone feed from vassals?”
“Not everyone. Lovers feed from each other.”
My face flushed. “Every day?”
Sorin and Isac chuckled, but Miha remained quiet.
“Most days,” Isac answered. “But we feel most of our hunger after sex.”
“Why?”
Isac shrugged. “I don’t know. It is a need, an impulse, and when we satisfy it, it is like the rush you feel at the peak of release.”
Now my skin felt impossibly hot. I thought of all the times Adrian and I had come together—had he left my side to feed on Safira? Or perhaps he fed before to ensure he didn’t bite me. Either way, I did not like that he would do either.
“If you are to live among us, you must understand our bloodlust,” Sorin said. “As much as it is life-sustaining, it is also a bond. Granting Adrian access to your blood is the highest show of trust.”
“But it is your choice,” Miha added, looking up momentarily from her work.
My throat felt tight. All this talk of lovers and sex and blood, it made me feel heated and light-headed. Still, hearing the way Sorin spoke of it was different. It sounded sacred to them, which made the fact that Adrian took from Safira nightly even worse.
“And…how can I trust it will only be bloodletting?” I asked.
Sorin’s brows lowered. “What do you mean?”
“Well, you became a vampire somehow,” I pointed out. “How were you turned?”
“That,” he said, “is a deeper bite.”
“It is a great insult to hear another man teach his wife of bloodlust,” Adrian said, suddenly appearing from the darkness around us.
My eyes collided with his, and I rose to my feet.
“I asked Sorin to explain,” I said quickly. “Would you have him deny his queen?”
Adrian glared, baring his teeth before turning on his heels and entering the tent. I offered a quick, apologetic glance to Sorin and the others before following Adrian inside, stumbling when he twisted toward me suddenly, his eyes alight.
“You should have asked me,” he said, jamming his finger at his own chest. “I would have told you. I wanted to tell you.”
I stared, shocked by how strongly he was reacting to this.
“Was I supposed to assume blood sucking was a sacred process when you feed from anyone with a heartbeat?”
“I do not feed from just anyone,” he said.
“Forgive me,” I mocked. “You feed from your vassal, who feels responsible for your pleasure. You expect me to believe in a sanctity of something you also offer to her?”
“It is not the same,” he said.
“You fuck her and drain her blood. How is it not the same?”
“I have never fucked her,” he snarled.
I felt like my chest was going to explode. After a moment of quiet, he tilted his head back, which made the shadows darken the hollows of his cheeks.
“If I were to partake of your blood, I would have no use for her,” he said. He was attacking my jealousy, as if to say the way to end this is to give me everything.
“And if you fucked her, you would have no use for me,” I said.
“You say that as if you would not mind,” he said, closing the space between us.
I shouldn’t, but he already knew I cared. By the fucking goddess. Why did I care?
“Think of how I touched you last night.” He trailed his fingers down my face. “Imagine another woman in your place.”