“As often as you wish, my queen,” said Lothian. “This is your library, and I am your librarian.”
“I knew I would not regret dancing with you,” I said, grinning.
“That makes one of us,” Lothian said.
We laughed, and I realized it was one of the few times I’d done so since I’d arrived at the Red Palace.
*
I could not sleep.
As tired as my eyes had been when leaving the library, I was now wide awake—or rather, my body was. I wasn’t sure what it was about this room or this bed or the person I’d become since I’d met Adrian, but I could hardly think about anything other than him. And this time, it wasn’t just thoughts of his body against mine that kept my mind going—it was every subtle nuance of our time together. It was the way he’d said my name, that he’d said my name at all, desperate for me to hear whatever he wasn’t saying. It was the way he trusted me to take on my role as queen without really knowing who I was as a princess or a person.
It was how he kissed me.
Like he possessed a true, unnatural passion for me that I could somehow match, and I did not know why. I reasoned that I felt this way because of all that had transpired since leaving Lara. My people had betrayed me and attempted to overthrow my father, and despite once understanding their fear and anger, the more I learned about the Burning, the less I could excuse their behavior. Not that I’d been able to really forgive them before; they had reduced my sacrifice down to nothing, just as Killian had. Did he fuck you the way you wanted? he’d asked.
Once, I’d felt such shame, but no longer.
I’d made my sacrifice, and now my people would live in a world ruled both by me and Adrian, and I was not sorry for it.
I kicked off the blankets and pulled on my robe. If I couldn’t sleep, I’d return to the library. I cracked the door and peeked into the hallway. The corridor was empty, except for shadows that danced in tandem with the candle flame. After a few seconds passed with no sign of activity, I slipped out the door, tying off my robe.
I paused at the top of the stairs as the sound of revelry reached me. There was singing, strange growls, and moans. The Burning Rites had begun, and it seemed the celebration continued even into the early morning. I took a few steps down and halted, ducking so that I could assess the risk. Below, the tall windows were full of flickering fire that looked more red than orange as it was filtered through the glass. The doors to the front of the castle were wide open, giving me a view of the courtyard where a fire raged and people danced. The air was heavy with the scent of flesh and blood and smoke, tinged with spice and resin.
Even from this distance, I could see bodies before the fire—a woman taking a man into her mouth, a man taking another into his. There were others too, engaging in various sexual acts, and some who embraced in the same manner I’d watched Adrian hold Safira, and I knew they were drinking each other’s blood.
If the act was so sacred, why was it being performed in public, I wondered. Then again, I’d always thought of sex as a private act, and yet among these people, it seemed to be a form of entertainment.
Then I caught sight of Adrian, who stood with Safira on his arm.
A rush of jealousy thickened the blood in my veins. Had he sought his vassal since I’d sent him away? Had he partaken of her blood against my wishes? There was an undercurrent to my jealousy, a strange feeling that held on to my heart. I did not want to put a name to it, because acknowledging that this…hurt…was ridiculous. How could I, a human princess of the Nine Houses, feel hurt that a vampire would betray me?
I ground my teeth and tamped down the pain. I would not let him have that kind of control over me. I rose to my feet, renewed in my mission to explore the library and discover more from Adrian’s past. I descended the stairs, racing into the adjoining corridor before anyone spotted me from the open doors, except that just as I was about to round the corner, I caught sight of Daroc and Sorin. I wasn’t sure what was happening, but neither one of them looked pleased. Daroc leaned close, a finger pointed in Sorin’s face, whose jaw was set so tight, I could see it popping. Whatever words were being exchanged, I could not hear them, but I sensed I had stumbled into a fight.
I took my chance and darted across the hall as I tried to retrace the path I’d taken with Miha earlier, but the hallways branched off in so many directions, I was not exactly sure I’d taken the right way. I got halfway down one hall and turned around, feeling as though I’d gone the wrong direction.