Audrey winces behind her. She knows how I’m feeling better than anyone else. Tears roll down my cheeks, doing the talking for me.
“No, no, no!” Lucy says, sitting on my bed and grabbing my hand. “You know, my cousin broke her collarbone a few years ago, and she’s running marathons again.”
“Yes,” Anouk adds. “With a good physical therapist…”
“I’ll go back in time and attend my audition with ABT?” I ask.
“I’m sorry, Mia,” Anouk replies, looking contrite. “I didn’t mean to…I know this sucks.”
“Yep,” I say, letting out a bitter laugh through my tears.
“But you will dance again,” Lucy says, rubbing my hand.
I know it comes from a good place, but I’m not strong enough to take it. Still, I try to sound lighthearted. “When do you all go home?”
“Now,” Anouk says, checking her watch. “But we wanted to see you one last time.”
“Thank you for coming,” I say. “It means a lot.”
“I’m sorry we can’t stay any longer,” Lucy says with a guilty smile. “I’ll miss you almost as much as I’ll miss Paris.”
Lucy giggles at her own joke, but all I can manage is a weak smile.
Paris. I just want to forget that I was ever in this city, just a few steps away from my lifelong dream. Until a car crashed through it.
“Hey, girls, do you mind if I talk to Mia for a moment?” Audrey asks suddenly. She’s been sitting at the foot of the bed, quietly waiting.
Lucy and Anouk exchange a look and get up. They both hug me and promise to stay in touch. Tears fill my eyes again as it dawns on me that this is how my summer of ballet is ending. Not just in a hospital, but also ripped away from my friends a little too soon.
After they leave the room, Audrey comes to sit closer. “Does it hurt?” she asks, shuffling uncomfortably.
“My collarbone? Yeah, a little. But the rest…” I trail off. I don’t need to say it. She knows I would take the physical pain over the devastation of missing my chance with ABT any day.
“I’m really sorry, Mia. I was in shock when I found out. I’d never wish…”
“I know,” I say.
Audrey bites her bottom lip, then looks up at me with a heavy sigh. “Listen, I wanted you to hear it from me…”
She pauses. My breath turns ragged.
“ABT offered you an apprenticeship, and I bet the Bolshoi Ballet did as well,” I say. Audrey got all of the auditions. And of course she knocked them out of the park.
Audrey’s face wrinkles. “I’m going to ABT.”
I nod, trying to inhale deeply. I need to be brave.
“I wish you would come, too. It would be so great if we did this together.” It’s hard to believe, but she sounds genuine. This summer has definitely changed us both.
“You deserve this, Audrey. I’m happy for you.” And strangely, I mean it.
Her bottom jaw quivers, and, for a moment, I think she’s going to cry. Instead, she does something even more surprising. “I’m scared,” she says. “My mom was pretty mad that I didn’t pick the Bolshoi Ballet, but that’s not just it. I’m terrified to mess it up. What if I get to ABT and I’m just nowhere near as good as all the other dancers?”
I let out a laugh.
“What?” she asks, a frown forming between her eyebrows.
“Audrey Chapman is feeling feelings and admitting it out loud. My work here is done.”
* * *
Mom comes about an hour after Audrey leaves. There’s a smile on her face and a skip in her step. Maybe it’s because I’m on drugs, but I don’t get it.
She sits on the edge of my bed, offering me a cup of water. “Do you feel ready to go?”
I nod slowly as I take small sips. I’ve been dreading this moment—going home, back to normal life—for weeks, but it’s taken on a whole new meaning. While I’m still here, I can hold on to the pretense. I know it’s silly, but deep down I still hope that I will finally wake up from this nightmare and make it to my audition.
“What time is our flight?” I ask Mom as she gets up.
She pulls out an outfit from my duffel bag. She must have gone to my dorm to pack my things.
“Five-thirty p.m.” She starts packing the few things I have here—my bag, my phone, the clothes I was wearing the night of the accident. “Two days from now.”
“What?”
A smile brightens her whole face. “I’m so sorry you didn’t get to go to your auditions, Mia. I know how much it meant to you.”