I think of an orchard beneath the moonlight, the whole world gone still. The two of us, alone among the trees. I rest my forehead against his and close my eyes. “I’m sorry.”
Then I turn to Arien. He looks so hurt and wretched and angry that it almost breaks me. I put my arms around him as a sob catches in my throat. “I’m so proud of you, Arien. You were so brave at the ritual.”
He presses his face into my neck and starts to cry. I hold him tightly and wish there was another choice, that I didn’t need to leave him behind.
“You can’t do this,” he says. “You can’t.”
“Listen, my love.” I put my hands on his shoulders and hold him still. “I need you to take care of everyone here. Take care of them for me.”
He nods, his face streaked with tears. “I will.”
I turn back toward the altar. Darkness gathers, and the air fills with mist. Waves of black water rush over the floor. Everything blurs and softens, until I’m shrouded in shadows. My heart starts to slow. I feel the Corruption in my blood, around my bones. I don’t have long until I’m lost.
I see the Lord Under and the heartwood trees.
I get to my feet. It’s almost impossible, the effort, but I don’t falter. I stand before the Lord Under, meet the cold frost of his gaze as I turn to shadows and poison. “Take me back with you. Take me, alive, to the world Below.”
He opens his arms to me. I step toward him. He enfolds me, as if with wings.
Then everything turns quiet, and I am gone.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
I’m curled on my side, in the center of the stones. Deep in my chest, the Corruption churns—it slithers and tangles, as though in response to my anger and despair. Threads of darkness vein my arms, my chest, and tighten against my throat.
Rowan lived for so long with this poison inside him. It hurt him and hurt him, before it almost claimed him entirely. And that was only a part of the Corruption. I have all of it within me now. All the darkness that poisoned the shore and the lake and the world Above. All the darkness that devoured the souls and the heartwoods and the world Below.
The Lord Under kneels down beside me. “Don’t fight it.” The same words he said after I’d walked into the lake. He leans over me, until all I can see is his beautiful, cruel face, and takes my hand.
My mouth fills with more of the ink-dark water. I shake myself free of his touch, then gasp and choke and spit until I can finally take another labored breath. I put my hands against my face as I start to cry. I catch a muffled sob inside my palms, then swallow down my tears.
“You knew.” I hate how betrayed I sound, that I can’t hide how much he’s upset me. “You knew all along that I’d end up this way.”
His eyes narrow coldly. “Yes, I knew. I knew when you came to me that you would be able to do this. I needed your magic, but the spell wasn’t all of it. More than anything, I needed your willingness to invite in the darkness, to offer yourself up, to let it in.”
“You lied to me. You tricked me.”
“Have you forgotten what you asked?” His words change until they match the cadence of my own voice. “I just want to keep everyone safe. I have to make it stop. I need your help. This—your sacrifice—was the only way.”
“You know that isn’t what I meant.”
“I know what I promised.” Angered, his features shift for a moment. Too many eyes, too many teeth, diagonal slashes opening at his neck. Then his face resettles. “They’re safe. The Corruption is mended. I’ve never lied to you, Violeta.”
I push back my sleeve. There’s a deep, blood-slick cut through the center of the sigil on my wrist. I put my fingers against the mark and press down, feeling for the thread of magic that ties me to Rowan. A blur of emotions—mine and not mine—flutters through my mind. Faint and weak and far off, but still there.
“I just wanted to go home.”
“And I took you home. I let you see everyone you loved, one last time.” His implacable expression flickers, and for just a breath, he looks almost sorry. He tries to stroke my hair, but I push him away.
“Don’t touch me.”
The Lord Under takes a step back, then another, moving to the other side of the circled stones. “Don’t fight it,” he says again. “The darkness has to claim you. It will overtake you. You’ll die and turn to ash, and your soul will sleep in a heartwood tree. Only then will the Corruption be gone.”
As he speaks, I feel the poison snaring through me, tighter and tighter. It’s harder to breathe, harder to speak, harder to see. I close my eyes and try to draw on my magic. It’s past the full moon now, and my power is weak and small. Almost impossible to grasp. Every piece of me feels bruised by the effort, but finally, I catch hold.