She paused in the archway between the bar and the stage room, loosening her scarf in the warm room and scanning the tables for Kath. Every face was turned toward the stage, where Tommy stood spotlighted, singing “Secret Love.” Like every time before, there were a number of couples—men and women—seated close to the stage, the women somewhere between enthralled and embarrassed, the men wearing knowing smiles. Lily wondered what they thought they knew. She was pretty sure they were wrong.
She spotted Kath seated with Jean and Jean’s college friends in the leftmost corner, toward the back. Lily might not have seen her at all, because she was largely in shadow, but Kath leaned forward to light a cigarette, and the flare of the lighter drew her attention. The flame briefly illuminated Kath’s face; her hair was swept back and parted on the side, like a man’s. It startled Lily to see her like that, and she suddenly felt selfconscious. She was wearing her new dress, the one she told her mother she’d bought to wear to the pageant, but had actually chosen for tonight. It was tighter than the dresses she usually wore, with a lower V-neck than she was used to, although it was still quite modest. But in this room, among these women, her new dress was a declaration. If she went over to Kath and sat beside her, everyone here would know what it meant.
Tommy began another number, a lively one that involved her flirting with the women around the edge of the stage. Lily remembered how she had once fantasized about Tommy singing to her at one of those tables, and her fantasy seemed so na?ve now, so silly. A schoolgirl dream. She recognized the smile on Tommy’s face as she leaned down to serenade a brunette in a maroon cocktail dress. She looked so flattered, so eager.
Lily looked away. She began to weave her way toward Kath, who seemed to be looking around too. Lily thought she saw Kath put down her cigarette; she thought she saw the slightly paler shadow of her face rise up, as if she were standing. “Excuse me,” she whispered, bumping into strangers’ chairs, slipping around women standing at the rear of the room. When had the small stage room become so large and filled with so many obstacles? She wasn’t even paying attention to Tommy’s show anymore.
At last she was there, and Lily recognized the set of Kath’s shoulders even though she couldn’t see her face, which was only a blur in the smoky dimness. “Kath,” she whispered in relief. It had only been a few hours since she’d seen Kath at school, but it felt as if days had passed.
“What happened?” Kath whispered. “I waited, but then it got too late.”
Someone nearby shushed them, and Lily grabbed Kath’s hand and pulled her back through the stage room and into the hallway that led to the stairs. The alcove beneath the stairs was empty, and Lily drew Kath into its shadows, her skin already flushing with anticipation.
“I’m sorry I was late,” Lily said. “Frankie was sick and I had to wait till he went to sleep.”
There were a few beer kegs and some wooden crates stored under the stairs, but there was just enough room for the two of them. Overhead, cracks in the stair treads let in paper-thin shafts of dim yellow light. It slanted over Kath’s face as she closed the space between them and said, “I’m glad you’re here,” and then she kissed Lily.
“Me too.” Lily kissed her back.
When they drew apart, Lily remembered that she had brought a gift for Kath, and she pulled the toy airplane from her pocket. “This is for you,” she said.
Kath held it up to examine it in better light. “What’s this for?” She sounded surprised.
“It made me think of you.”
Flora’s father had assumed it was for Lily’s youngest brother, and she hadn’t corrected him. She had wanted to put it in a box and wrap it, but she didn’t have the right size box, and the only wrapping paper at home was left over from Christmas. Now, seeing Kath holding the bare little toy plane in her hand, she was embarrassed.
“It’s nothing,” Lily whispered. “It’s all right if you don’t like it.”
Kath spun the wheels and smiled. “I like it.” She slipped the airplane into her pocket and slid her hands around Lily’s waist again. “Do you want to go out to the show?”
“In a minute.”
“Just a minute?” Kath teased her.
Lily laughed. She pulled Kath closer; she felt her smiling mouth against her own. Lily remembered the sight of that other couple beneath the stairs, and it was as if time had folded upon itself and she couldn’t tell if she was herself or someone else. How many girls had stood beneath these stairs, kissing? Lily envisioned a long line of girls like them cocooned in this dark pocket of beer-scented air.