“Yo, Sea Monster,” I call out, and a red-faced Everly looks up at me, her shoulders shaking with every hysteric sob that wracks her tiny body. “Seriously, you gotta tell me your workout routine. I’m no skinny minny, and you manhandled me into that pool like a boss.” I try to laugh as I stand in front of her, but Everly does not take the bait.
“I’m so sorry, Cozy,” she sobs and leaps up to barrel into me. She wraps her slender arms around my hips and buries her face in my chest. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I thought it would be funny. I’m so stupid. So, so stupid!”
“Hey,” I assert, grabbing her arms and pulling her away from me. I squat down in front of her so I can look her in the eyes. “You are many things, but stupid isn’t even close to one of them.”
She sniffs loudly, and her little chin trembles. “I’m dumb then.”
“You’re not dumb,” I argue and then reconsider. “Well, maybe you are dumb because stupid and dumb mean the same thing, but we can work on that later.”
She begins crying again, and I realize my joke failed miserably. I cup her face and force her to look at me. “I’ve known you for less than a day, and I can already tell that you have great taste in books, you’re sweeter than any kid I’ve ever met your age, and you swim like a mermaid. Stupid and dumb are not adjectives that belong to you. You got me?”
Her chin continues to tremble. “But I could have seriously hurt you.”
“Your Aquaman of a dad could have seriously hurt me,” I correct with a laugh. “Did you see how he almost cannonballed on my head?” And then manhandled me in a way no man ever has before. Life-or-death situation or not, I had an out-of-body experience as he carried me across the patio.
She sputters out a snotty laugh, bringing me back to the moment, and looks up behind me. I glance back to see Mr. Fletcher standing there, staring down at us with shocking, red-rimmed eyes that make my heart leap into my throat. I definitely didn’t see that reaction from him coming.
Shaking that image away, I turn back and wipe at the tears under Everly’s eyes with the back of my finger. “If he had a nice swan dive like you, this all would have been much less dramatic.”
Everly wipes her nose on the back of her hand. “I really am sorry, Cozy.”
“You are forgiven. And just because we make bad choices doesn’t make us bad people.” I pull her into a hug, and she falls into me like she can’t stand to hold herself upright anymore. It’s soul-crushing. “I’m sorry for scaring you like that. I’m not the best swimmer.”
“I noticed,” she murmurs into my neck.
My body shakes with laughter, and I think I even hear a chortle from grumpy Zaddy behind me. Everly pulls back, and I tuck a wet strand of hair behind her ear. “Why don’t we go get dried off and have some hot cocoa. All life-threatening moments seem a lot less scary after chocolate.”
No matter how hard I try to focus back on my mountain of work the rest of the afternoon, it’s no use. My eyes are constantly being drawn to what Cassandra and Everly are doing. They’re dressed back in their clothes and lying out in the grass, far away from the pool.
Thank goodness.
Jesus Christ, what the hell was all that?
I saw the moment Cassandra was pulled into the water and even waited a few seconds, expecting her to surface. When she didn’t, I dead sprinted out of my patio door and straight into the pool, nearly kicking Everly in the head as I jumped over her.
I’ve had this pool for a decade and never had to perform a water rescue. Day one with the new nanny, and I’m testing the water resistance on my Cartier watch as I save her fucking life.
Can’t swim? How the fuck did I fail to include that on my job application? Jessica will kill me when she finds out about all this. This was a horrible oversight. What kind of father am I for not thinking about that?
Cassandra’s words play on repeat in my mind, ‘Just because we make bad choices doesn’t make us bad people.’ Wise words for someone whose life philosophy is “why do more when you can do less.” Thankfully, they helped to soothe Everly. I wasn’t going to be able to stand by and watch her cry for a moment longer. I know what she did was wrong, but it doesn’t change the fact that my kid’s tears gut me.
Memories of her being three years old and crying every time I picked her up for her weekends with me still fucking haunt me. She didn’t want to leave her mom’s and spend the weekend with her dad. It wasn’t anything I did or didn’t do particularly. She was just a kid who loved her mother. Often, I would cave and let her stay with Jess and miss out on a whole weekend with my kid just so she wouldn’t feel that pain. It killed me to lose that time with her, but if Everly was happy, that was all that mattered.