“Yeah.”
“I’m Alicia Silverstone’s character.” My voice cracks as I jam my hand through my bedhead. “I’m currently up in my loft bedroom gaping out the window like a pervert watching Max swim laps in the pool. It’s still kind of dark out, but I can see him, Dakota. I am officially the stalker in this situation now.”
The sound of muffling breaks through the phone before Dakota yawns loudly. “First of all, if anything, you’re Alicia Silverstone in that babysitter movie. Remember she has like two teenage boys going after her plus the dad? God, that movie was dirty as hell. Your parents’ old VHS collection probably should have been locked away.” She giggles sleepily.
I duck down when I see Max hoisting himself out of the pool. The sun is starting to peek through the trees, so I get a nice golden view of him drying off. He turns his back to me, and I notice his swim trunks are riding so low that the very top of his ass crack is showing, and I can see his tan line. Seriously, now a plumber’s ass is hot? Another kink unlocked.
“So if I’m the Alicia Silverstone babysitter, what does that mean? He’s the dirty one, not me?” I ask, still feeling desperate to find some semblance of comfort in this painful situation.
“Oh, you’re both dirty, for sure.”
I groan, “Why did we think it was a good idea for me to hook up with my boss again?”
“Because you’re not a teenage nut job, Cozy. You’re a grown woman, and Max is hot. You would hate yourself if you didn’t seize the day and bag the Zaddy. I’m fucking proud of you.”
My lips buzz with yet another heavy breath. Been doing a lot of heavy breathing these days. And unfortunately, Dakota’s pride does nothing to quell the anxiety still swirling in my tummy. I thought the sexual tension would dissipate after we hooked up. But that Zaddy asshole has made me coffee three mornings in a freaking row. Three! And you know what? There is something intensely erotic about having a man in a suit hand you a cup of coffee. Starbucks needs to change their employee uniforms immediately.
Okay, my kink counts are out of fucking control now.
Not to mention Max’s kinks! Biting, hickeys, intense eye contact. It’s a lot. We are a lot. I haven’t even needed to pick up my Mercedes Lee Loveletter books this week because I am living in some sort of Loveletter fantasy.
Even my text exchanges with Max are like…not PG rated anymore.
Me: Fair warning…Everly and I have been tie-dying today, and she may have snuck into your closet and transformed a few of your white T-shirts.
Max: Oh, boy.
Me: Yeah, also…your closet is like straight out of a Mercedes Lee Loveletter novel. I may have drooled a little while walking around and fondling your things.
Max: One of these days, you’ll have to tell me what it is you love about Kate’s books.
Me: Hiding eyes emoji. That would not be an appropriate conversation to have with my boss.
Max: I think we’re far past the point of appropriate, don’t you, Cassandra?
My brain rips out of my mental musings to ask Dakota, “Why are both movie references we’re talking about for my life story cheesy psychological thrillers instead of sweet, romantic comedies?” My hand grows sweaty as I clutch my phone like it’s my lifeline.
“Because you’re you, Cozy. And it simply would not be on brand for you to identify with traditional,” Dakota replies simply.
“Fair point.”
“Just chill out, okay? Maybe go visit your parents tonight. Get out of that tiny house of sexual memories and breathe in the fresh country air.”
“That’s a good idea,” I respond crisply because it totally still smells like Max in here. “Nothing like a hardy discussion about my future with my mother to bring me back to reality.”
“Mmmkay, Bestie. I’m going back to sleep now,” she coos into the line and doesn’t even wait for me to say goodbye before hanging up.
I feel rejected, and the sun isn’t even up yet. Wish I could say the same for my libido.
That evening, when the familiar sight of my family’s big red barn comes into view, I feel a modicum of relief as I pull into the large circle driveway to park. Leaving my keys in the ignition, I trudge my way up to the classic white, two-story home.
Both my parents have full-time jobs and use their hobby farm as supplemental income. They raise lambs and sell the babies to young kids in 4-H. Some even keep their animals out here and come out to feed them and work with them every day to prepare them for the fair. It’s a decent side hustle for my parents, so I think they’ll do it as long as they’re physically able.