Of course he immediately regretted it. It was entirely his fault and he knew it. He had been panicked, worried that he could never be the kind of awesome family man his dad had been and was afraid to commit. Because what if he had kids who loved and needed him and he died? Who would take care of them then? He wasn’t a PhD and Jenn wasn’t a judge! Money was tight between them. What if he had a couple of adorable little kids, a gorgeous sexy wife and went skiing and bam! Hit a tree!
The chime on his phone rang. He had a text.
You want to talk?
Yes! I know I messed up but I really miss you.
Do you want to come over for dinner? To talk?
Oh, he really did. He texted her back that that would be good and she told him to be at her condo at seven. He arrived early and sat in the parking lot until the appointed time, but when he got to her door, he had lost all his cool. He realized he should have stopped to buy her flowers, but he hadn’t. When she opened the door, he snatched her up in his arms and devoured her with a kiss so hot and hungry there was no time for talking. He was so overcome he could barely get in and close the door.
This was one of the things that ate at him—that they were so right for each other. As he held her face in his hands he was overwhelmed by passion. From the sounds she made, she was just as gone. He could vaguely smell the aroma of something Italian and noticed a long baguette on the counter, but couldn’t stop from hugging her, kissing her, pulling at her clothes and walking her backward toward her bedroom. “God, I missed you...” he mumbled.
“Missed me? Or missed this?” she asked.
“It’s all the same,” he said. “I can’t have this with anyone but you!”
“Michael...” she said in a breath. And she pulled his shirt free of his jeans.
For several blissful minutes they worked at freeing each other from their clothes without ever breaking their kisses, then fell onto the bed and rolled around, filling their hands and mouths with every essence of their bodies. They strained together, wanting each other madly. They whispered of missing each other as they came together frantically, their passion powerful and demanding.
And fast. Bam. He hadn’t waited for her because he’d been so desperate and needy, so he tried to slow down long enough to at least give her some pleasure. Thankfully she was in as bad a state as he was and he felt those spasms he knew so well.
“Ahhh, there you go,” he said very softly, covering her face with tender kisses.
They collapsed in each other’s arms. Her head lay upon his chest and she ran her fingers through the hair on his chest; he loved it when she did that. “I think we managed to last all of five minutes,” he said.
She looked up at him. “I guess you haven’t been seeing anyone else.”
“Of course not,” he said. Then as if he surprised himself, “You haven’t, have you?”
“No, but I was getting ready to. Or put it this way, if you were gone, I wasn’t going to sulk and whimper. I wasn’t going to wait and see if you ever came back.”
“Jenn, I was just screwed up. Depressed, I think. And stupid.”
“And are you back now?”
“I guess. But I’m still messed up and unsure about our future.”
She wrestled free of his embrace and grabbed her T-shirt off the floor and pulled it over her head. She sat on the bed beside him; he was stretched out long and lean, his hands behind his head. He was completely naked and her overlong T-shirt covered her nudity. She sat cross-legged.
“Listen, if we had just been dating casually and you hit this period of confusion and depression and needed a break to figure things out after your dad’s death, I’d just say okay, good luck, and back away quietly. But we were different. We were past all that. We were committed, looking for a larger condo so we could move in together and we were planning to get engaged. We picked out rings and were saving to pay for them. We said we loved each other, that we trusted each other, that we were going to have a family together.”
“That we were taking it slow,” he reminded her.
“Because of our budget. Two teachers can’t afford to leap into a fast marriage before they can pay the bills.”
“We were going to get married in about two years,” he said. “Lately I’ve been doubting everything.”
“I didn’t sense doubt just now.”
“You know what I mean. I just need a little break! Some time alone to get my head together.”
“For an unspecified length of time?” she asked. “You wanted to shut it down. Until you wanted sex! I think you overlooked the part about being together in good times and bad. You came over to talk and had me naked in sixty seconds.”