“There wasn’t,” I interrupt. They both turn to me, but I only look at Boris. “At least, I doubt it. I haven’t run any analytics, but I’m sure the error was in the stimulation protocol.” I swallow. “On my side.”
He nods, tight-lipped. “What happened?”
“I don’t know. My guess is that the stimulation was too intense or too high-frequency, and either displaced or too diffuse. This caused widespread neuronal misfiring—”
“Okay.” He nods again. “How did it happen?”
“That I don’t know. We spent weeks mapping Guy’s brain, and nothing like that ever happened. The protocol was tailored to him.” I bend my head, staring down at my hands. I’m wringing my nonna’s ring. As usual. “It won’t happen again. I’m sorry.”
“No, it won’t.” He runs a hand down his face. “BLINK’s over.”
There’s a sharp intake of breath—Levi’s. I look up. “What?”
“This is not a mistake I can tolerate. You took someone who went through years of astronaut training and had him in a puddle on the floor. Guy’s fine, but what if the next astronaut isn’t?”
I shake my head. “There won’t be a next astronaut—”
“There should have been no astronauts. Especially not in front of half of NASA!”
“Boris.” Levi is standing behind me. Probably a little too close. “We tested this protocol over ten times. Nothing similar ever happened. You rushed the demonstration when we could have waited weeks—”
“And you vouched for Bee when NIH sent her here, and she gave a seizure to one of my astronauts!” Boris clenches his jaw, trying to calm down. “Levi, I don’t blame you—”
A loud knock. The door opens, and things get even worse.
No. Not Trevor, please. Not when I’m at my lowest.
And yet, Boris gestures for him to come in. “We were just discussing . . .”
“I heard.” He shrugs darkly. “You weren’t exactly quiet. So,” he says, clapping his hands, “I smoothed things over with the congressmen. Told them BLINK’s still salvageable.”
“Wait.” Boris frowns. I might throw up. “I understand there are many interests at play here, but not so fast. Clearly something went very wrong, and—”
“Someone,” Trevor interrupts. The look he gives me is full of contempt. “I heard what you were saying. Clearly the problems were with one specific person, and they can be solved by eliminating the weak link and putting another NIH researcher on the project. Josh Martin and Hank Malik applied for the position, too.”
“Are you an idiot?” Levi takes a step toward Trevor, looming over him. “You have no knowledge of your own scientists if you think Dr. K?nigswasser is a weak link—”
“Excuse me,” I say. My voice is shaking. I can’t cry, not now. “I don’t think I’m needed for this conversation. I’ll check on Guy and . . .” Clear out my things.
Yeah.
I get out as fast as I can. I’m not ten steps from the door when I hear feet running behind, then around me. Levi stops in front of me, a near-desperate expression in his eyes. “Bee, we can still fix this. Come back in there and—”
“I—I need to go.” I try to keep my tone firm. “But you need to stay in there and make sure that BLINK actually happens.”
He gives me a disbelieving look. “Not without you. Bee, we have no idea what really went wrong. Boris is overreacting and Trevor’s a fucking idiot. I’m not going to—”
“Levi.” I let myself reach for his wrist. Close my hand around it and squeeze. “I’m asking you to go back in there and do what you have to do to make sure BLINK happens. Please. Do it for Peter. For Penny. And for me.” It’s a low blow. I can see it in his narrowing eyes, in the set of his jaw. But when I start walking again, he doesn’t follow.
And right now, that’s all I want.
23
AMYGDALA, AGAIN: FEAR
REIKE WON’T ANSWER my calls, because she’s finally traveling to Norway. It might be for the best: I’d just cry at her about neuronal depolarization and electromagnetic induction, which can’t be healthy for me, or edifying for her. I want to visit Guy in the hospital to . . . bring him an Edible Arrangement? Offer my firstborn in penance? Self-flagellate at the foot of his bed? I’m not even sure where they brought him, if he’s still there, and I doubt he wants to see me. Maybe I should text him. Do you hate me for giving you a seizure through my carelessness and sheer incompetence? Yes, No, Maybe, pls circle.