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Love on the Brain(110)

Author:Ali Hazelwood

But he thought I was. He thought Tim and I were together. For a long time. And Tim did lie to me.

“Levi.” I swallow, hard. “Levi.” This is impossible. Things like these—they don’t happen in real life. In my life. These coincidences, they’re for You’ve Got Mail and nineties rom-coms, not for— My eyes fall on the longest message he sent me.

I know the shape of her. I go to sleep thinking about it, and then I wake up, go to work, and she is there, and it’s impossible.

Oh my God.

I want to push her against a wall, and I want her to push back.

I did that, didn’t I? He pushed me against a wall, and I pushed back. And pushed. And pushed. And pushed. And now I’ve pushed him away for good, forever, even though . . . Oh, God. He has offered me everything, everything I’ve ever wanted. And I am such a cowardly, idiotic fool.

I wipe my cheek, and my eyes fall on the object Levi left on the table. It’s a flash drive, pretty, shaped like a cat’s paw. A calico’s. My laptop doesn’t have a USB port, so I frantically look for an adapter—which of course is at the bottom of the damn suitcase. There’s one single document on the drive. F.mp4. I plop down on the pile of unfolded clothes I just tossed around and immediately click on it.

I knew there were cameras everywhere in the Discovery Building, but not that Levi had access to them. And I don’t understand why he’d give me thirty minutes of night surveillance footage. I frown, wondering if he uploaded the wrong file, when something small and fair slinks in the corner of the monitor.

Félicette.

The date says April 14, only a few days before I moved to Houston. Félicette looks a little smaller than the last time I saw her. She trots across the hallway, glances around, then disappears around the corner. My body leans in to the screen to follow her, but the movie cuts to April 22. Félicette jumps on one of the couches in the lobby. She circles around, finds a good spot, and starts napping with her head on her paws. Wet laughter bubbles out of me, and the video changes again—the engineering lab is semi dark, but Félicette is sniffing tools I’ve seen Levi use. Licking water from the drip tray of the break room’s water dispenser. Running up and down the stairs. Giving herself a bath by the conference room windows.

And then, of course, in my office. Scratching her claws on my chair’s armrests. Eating the treats I left out for her. Dozing on the little bed I set up in the corner. I’m laughing again, I’m crying again, because—I knew it. I knew it. And Levi knew it, too—this is not something he put together quickly last night. This is hours and hours of combing through footage. He must have known Félicette existed for a while, and—I want to strangle him. I want to kiss him. I want everything.

I guess this is it—being in love. Truly in love. Lots and lots of horrible, wondrous, violent emotions. It doesn’t suit me. Maybe it’s for the best that I sent Levi away. I could never live with this—it’d raze me to the ground in less than a week, and—

I want to push her against a wall, and I want her to push back.

Oh, Levi. Levi. I can be fearless. I can be as fearless and honest as you are. If you will teach me.

I sit back, let the tears flow, watch some more. She really did like my desk, Félicette. More than Rocío’s. As the date changes, she nestles around my computer more often. Steps where I found her little paw prints. Delicately sniffs the rim of my cup. Chews on my computer’s power cable. Scurries away when the door opens, and—

Wait.

I stop the video and lean forward. It’s clear from the shift of the lights that someone is coming inside, but the video immediately cuts to new footage. Who would open the door of my office at—2:37 a.m.? Cleaners always came by late afternoons. Rocío is committed to BLINK, but not two-thirty-a.m. committed. Hell, I’m not two-thirty-a.m. committed.

I wipe my tears, press the space bar, and let the video run, hoping for an explanation. It doesn’t come, but something else does. A segment dated two days ago, again in my office. Just a handful of seconds of Félicette sleeping at my desk. My monitor is on.

I don’t leave my computer unlocked. Not ever.

I stop the video and zoom in as much as I can, feeling like a tinfoil-hatted conspiracy theorist. The video is just high-def enough that I can make out . . .

“Is that my Twitter?” I ask no one.

Impossible. I’d never log into WWMD on a work computer. For obvious reasons, chief among them that Rocío has a perfect visual of it. But it’s right there, unless I’m hallucinating, and—it might be keychain access? But still . . .