His reply is immediate.
SHMAC: Sure am today
MARIE: You hate your life, too? What are the chances.
SHMAC: Maybe we’re the same astrological sign.
MARIE: lol
SHMAC: What’s going on?
MARIE: My project’s a shitshow. And I’m working with this total camel dick who’s the worst. I bet he’s one of those assholes who doesn’t switch to airplane mode during takeoff, Shmac. He probably bites into popsicles. I’m positive he sneezes in his palm and then shakes people’s hands.
SHMAC: Eerily specific.
MARIE: But true!
SHMAC: I don’t doubt it.
MARIE: How’s the girl?
SHMAC: Still married. Plus, she probably thinks I’m a camel dick.
MARIE: She could never. You two having a torrid affair yet?
SHMAC: The opposite.
MARIE: Did she at least get ugly while she was gone?
SHMAC: She’s still the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
My heart skips a beat. Oh, Shmac.
SHMAC: That aside, I’ve been thinking about how much easier my life would be if I quit and became a cat trainer. Except, I can’t even convince my cat not to piss under my living room carpet.
MARIE: I can see how that would be an issue.
MARIE: Do you ever feel like we put too much of ourselves into this?
SHMAC: On the bad days, for sure.
MARIE: Are there good days? Ever?
SHMAC: My last one was in middle school. Second place at the science fair.
MARIE: Did you win a Toys R Us gift certificate?
SHMAC: Nope. A Marie Curie bobblehead, holding two beakers that glow in the dark.
MARIE: Omg. I would MURDER for that.
SHMAC: If we ever meet in person, it’s yours.
We chat for a long time, and it’s nice to commiserate while it lasts, but once I set my phone on the nightstand I feel hopeless again. The last thing I see before falling asleep is Levi’s stricken expression when I threw at him all the things he did to me, painted on the back of my eyelids like the poster of a movie I never want to watch again.
7
ORBITOFRONTAL CORTEX: HOPE
MY ALARM RINGS, but I let it snooze.
Once. Twice. Three times, five, eight, twelve, why the hell is it still ringing, why did I even set it—
“Bee?”
I open my eyes. Barely. They’re bleary, sticky with sleep.
“Bee?”
Crap. I inadvertently answered a call from an unknown number. “Shisshishee,” I slur. Then I spit out my retainer. “Sorry, this is she.”
“I need you to come in right now.”
I instantly recognize the baritone. “Levi?” I blink at my alarm. It’s 6:43 a.m. I can’t keep my lids up. “What? Come where?”
“Can you be in Boris’s office by seven?”
That makes me sit up in bed. Or as close as I can manage at this hour. “What are you talking about?”
“Do you want to stay and work on BLINK?” His voice is firm. Decisive. I can hear background noise. He must be outside, walking somewhere.
“What?”
“Have you told NIH about what NASA is doing yet?”
“Not yet, but—”
“Then do you want to stay and work on BLINK?”
I press my palm into my eye. This is a nightmare, right? “I thought we agreed that’s not an option.”
“It might be now. I have . . . something.” A pause. “A bit of a gamble, though.”
“What is it?”
“Something that’ll get Boris to support us.” He cuts off for a second. “—can’t explain on the phone.”
It sounds sketchy. Like he’s trying to lure me to a secondary location to traffic me to people who’ll harvest my femurs to make handles for badminton racquets.
“Can’t we just meet later?”
“No. Boris is having a call with the NASA director in one hour, we need to catch him before then.”
I run a hand over my face. I’m way too pooped for this. “Levi, this sounds very weird and I just woke up. If you’re trying to get me alone to assassinate me, could we just go ahead, pretend you did it, and go our separate ways—”
“Listen. What you said yesterday . . .” He must have stepped inside, because the background noise is gone. His voice is rich and deep in my ear. I think I can actually hear him swallow. “There is no other neuroscientist I’d want to do this project with. Not a single one.”
It’s a blow to the sternum. The words knock the air out of my lungs, and a weird, nonsensical, untimely thought crosses my mind: it’s not that surprising that this broody, reserved man snagged himself a beautiful bride. Not if he’s capable of saying things like this.