This time it’s sweet, slow, savoring. Patient. This time it’s lingering and gentle—everything our other kiss wasn’t.
I want to try them all. All the kisses Levi Ward is capable of, I want to sample them like fine wine.
I touch my lips, feel his residual warmth, and don’t take my eyes off his back as he disappears.
17
PULVINAR: REACHING & GRASPING
From: [email protected]
To: BLINK-CORE-ENGINEERING@MAILSERV, [email protected]
Re: BLINK—Monday
I’ll be taking personal time and I won’t be in at all today （Monday）。 I uploaded three designs for you to work on. Bee came up with a great solution to the hardware/software incompatibility issues, and I want to finalize its implementation ASAP. Reach me via text if you have questions.
LW
I read the email for the seventh time, and for the seventh time I marvel that I was given credit for my idea. Goes to show how low the bar is for cis dudes in STEM, doesn’t it? Thank you, Oh Penised Overlords, for the recognition I deserve.
Not that I’m not grateful he introduced the idea, since I’m not sure his underlings would have taken it seriously if it came from me. Remember June 1903, when the Royal Institution invited Dr. Curie to give a lecture and then didn’t allow her to lecture because of her inferior lady brain? Pierre ended up speaking for her, even though she was sitting in the audience.
Anyway: the more things change, the more they stay the same. Sausage Referencing? is still a thing, and sometimes I get angry at myself for the way I accept it.
Sometimes I get angry at myself for other things. Like the fact that I should be working, instead of checking my phone to see if Levi texted. Or the fact that I’m upset he hasn’t. Or the fact that suddenly I care to be updated about what he’s doing every second of every minute of every day.
It’s not my business, anyway. He has stuff to do. With his ex. Maybe if Tim hadn’t cheated on me for a number of years that cannot be counted on the fingers of one hand I wouldn’t think twice about this. But Levi’s lack of an explanation has me wondering whether he’s hiding something. Don’t get me wrong—I’m aware that our kiss meant nothing to him. So he had a crush on me in grad school? Big deal. It’s been six years. Lots of things changed dramatically in the past six years. The writing on Game of Thrones. The importance of hand sanitizer. My opinions on duck penises. But it was still a kiss. If Levi’s in a relationship with someone else . . . yikes. Is he Tim 2.0? No, he’s not that verminous. He wouldn’t. But aren’t all men the same?
Is my head exploding?
“Are you picturing me and Kay doing it?”
I startle. Rocío is sitting at her desk, black Dr. Martens propped next to her keyboard and a pink lollipop in her mouth. “How long have you been here?”
“Like, five minutes. You were staring into the distance with a weird deer-in-the-headlights expression, so . . .” She stops sucking with a loud pop. “So, was it me and Kay? On your desk?”
“I’m pretty sure this is sexual harassment.”
“I don’t mind.”
“No, you are harassing me—” I sigh and shake my head. She’s impossible. I want to adopt her and keep her in my life forever. “Is everything okay?”
She nods, sticking the lollipop back into her mouth.
“Is that . . . strawberry?”
“Bubblegum. Kay gave it to me.”
“Kay, huh?”
“Yup.”
I clear my throat. “I was thinking about a recent conversation we had, in which you told me you weren’t exactly a fan of . . . Kay, and—”
Rocío’s boots hit the floor. Hard. “I love her,” she declares. “She’s perfect. I want her to be my beautiful California Bride with pink ribbons in her hair. I want to give her bubble baths that smell like cotton candy. I want to buy her fruity cocktails with little umbrellas in them.” She leans forward, pinning me with her gaze. “I will wear glitter for her, Bee. Black glitter.”
I’m a little out of breath at the intensity. “Does Alex know?”
“I broke up with him. Told him he wasn’t pink enough.” She shrugs. “He barely cares.”
I grin. “I’m so happy for you.”
She sobers up. “Don’t be. Life is pain and then you die.”
“Ah, yes. I forgot.”
“Anyway. It’s more important than ever that I get into Johns Hopkins’s neuro program, since that’s where Kay’s going. So we decided to redirect the time and efforts we spent on GRE prep to GRE destruction.”