Rooney went straight for the jugular immediately. She swung the noodle wildly towards Pip, but Pip saw it coming and blocked it with her own noodle, though not without wobbling on her platform. The platforms were circular and could only have been half a metre in diameter. This probably wasn’t going to last very long.
Pip laughed. ‘Not fucking around, then?’
Rooney grinned. ‘No, I’m trying to win.’
Pip thrust her noodle forward in an attempt to push Rooney backwards, but Rooney swerved her torso, doing an almost ninety-degree bend to one side.
‘All right, gymnast,’ said Pip.
‘Dance, actually,’ Rooney shot back. ‘Until I was fourteen.’
She swung the noodle at Pip once again, but Pip blocked it.
And the fight began.
Rooney swung this way and that, but Pip’s reflexes only seemed to have been sharpened by the alcohol she’d drunk, which made no sense whatsoever. Rooney swiped left, Pip parried, Rooney swiped right, Pip dodged. Pip jabbed forward, trying to push Rooney back by the shoulder, and for a moment, I thought it was all over, but Rooney regained her balance with a sly grin, and the battle continued.
‘Your concentration face is so funny,’ said Rooney, laughing. She did an impression of Pip’s scrunched-up expression.
‘Er, not as funny as your face is gonna be when I win,’ Pip shot back. But there was a hint of a smile on her face too.
There were more swings and jabs and at one point they were having a full-on lightsaber battle. Pip prodded Rooney in the side and she nearly went down, saving herself at the last second by using her noodle as a crutch, which made Pip laugh so hard she nearly fell off on her own.
That was when I realised that they were enjoying themselves.
That was also when all the alcohol rushed to the top of my head and I felt like I was going to fall over.
I stumbled as carefully as I could over to the side of the marquee and sat down against the fabric to watch the finale.
I couldn’t help but notice that Rooney, as ruthless as she appeared from her wild, large swings, was strategically avoiding Pip’s face so as not to hit her glasses. Pip, however, was out for blood.
‘Why are you so bendy?’ Pip cried as Rooney dodged another jab.
‘Just one of my many charms!’
‘Many charms? Plural?’
‘I think you know all about them, pipsqueak.’
Pip swung her noodle at Rooney, but Rooney blocked it. ‘You are a fucking nightmare.’
Rooney smirked back. ‘I am and you love it.’
Pip released what could only be described as a war cry. She jabbed the noodle at Rooney, then again, and then a third time, knocking the girl back slightly each time, and on the fourth, Rooney went down, falling perfectly backwards from the podium and down on to the bouncy castle, letting out a short scream as she went.
‘YES!’ Pip cried, holding her noodle aloft in victory.
The guy operating the bouncy castle stopped the timer and gestured vaguely at Pip. ‘Glasses wins.’
Pip leapt off the podium and started bouncing next to Rooney, making it hard for her to get up. ‘Having some trouble down there, mate?’
Rooney tried to get to her feet but just ended up tumbling back down again as Pip bounced next to her. ‘Oh my God, stop –’
‘I thought you were a dancer! Where’s your coordination?’
‘We didn’t dance on bouncy castles!’
Pip finally slowed down her bouncing, coming to a halt and holding out a hand to help Rooney up. Rooney looked at it, and I could see her considering, but she didn’t take it, instead standing up on her own.
‘Good game,’ she said, one eyebrow raised. Then she walked away – or, rather, clambered away across the bouncy castle and rolled over the edge on to solid ground.
‘You’re not gonna be a sore loser, are you?’ Pip called after her, also dropping down and rolling off the contraption.
Rooney tutted so loud even I heard her from across the marquee.
‘Oh.’ Pip grinned. ‘You are. I should have guessed.’
Rooney started cramming her feet back into her heels. She probably wanted to regain her significant height advantage against Pip.
‘Hey!’ Pip raised her voice, calling after her. ‘Why d’you hate me so much?’
Rooney stopped.
‘Yeah, that’s right!’ Pip continued, raising her arms. ‘I said it! Why d’you hate me? We’re both drunk so we might as well just get it out there! Is it because I was Georgia’s best friend first so I’m in the way?’