She closes her eyes and shakes her head. “I’m so tired of having this same conversation over and over.”
Yeah. So am I.
I lean back in my chair and fold my arms over my chest while I stare at her. Her refusal of help has been understandable up to this point, but she’s not a teenager anymore, and I can’t understand why she won’t allow things to progress with us.
I lean forward, touching her arm so she’ll look at me and listen. “You need to stop being so hell-bent and determined to have your independence. If you don’t take better care of yourself, these brief one-night hospital stays will be a thing of the past, Maggie. Let me take care of you. Let me be there for you. I constantly worry myself sick. Your internship is causing you so much stress, not to mention the thesis. I understand why you want to live a normal life and do all the things other people our age do, like go to college and have a career.” I pause to run my hands through my hair and focus on the point I want to make. “If we lived together, I could do so much more for you. Things would be easier for both of us. And when things like this happen, I’ll be there to help you so you don’t convulse alone on the bathroom floor until you die!”
Breathe, Ridge.
Okay, that was harsh. Way too harsh.
I roll my neck and look down at the floor, because I’m not ready for her to respond yet. I close my eyes and try to hold back my frustration. “Maggie,” I sign, looking at her tear-soaked eyes. “I . . . love . . . you. And I am so scared that one of these days, I won’t be able to walk out of the hospital with you still in my arms. And it’ll be my own fault for allowing you to continue to refuse my help.”
Her bottom lip is quivering, so she tucks it into her mouth and bites it. “Sometime in the next ten or fifteen years, Ridge, that will be your reality. You are going to walk out of the hospital without me, because no matter how much you want to be my hero, I can’t be saved. You can’t save me from this. We both know you’re one of the few people I have in this world, so until the day comes when I can absolutely no longer take care of myself, I refuse to become your burden. Do you know what that does to me? To know that I’ve put that much pressure on you? I’m not living alone simply because I crave independence, Ridge. I want to live alone because . . .”
Tears are streaming down her cheeks, and she pauses to wipe them away. “I want to live alone because I just want to be the girl you’re in love with . . . for as long as we can draw that out. I don’t want to be your burden or your responsibility or your obligation. The only thing I want is to be the love of your life. That’s all. Please, just let that be enough for now. Let it be enough until the time comes when you really do have to go to the ends of the earth for me.”
A sob breaks free from my chest, and I reach forward and press my lips to hers. I grip her face desperately between my hands and lift my leg onto the bed. She wraps her arms around me as I pull the rest of my body on top of hers and do whatever I can to shield her from the unfairness of this evil, goddamned world.
Chapter Eighteen
Sydney
I close the door to Ridge’s car and follow Warren up the stairs toward the apartment. Neither of us said a word to each other on the drive home from the hospital. The rigidness in his jaw said all he needed to say, which was, more or less, Don’t speak to me. I spent the drive with my focus out the window and my questions lodged in my throat.
We walk into the apartment, and he tosses his keys onto the bar as I shut the door behind me. He doesn’t even turn around to look at me as he stalks off toward his bedroom.
“Good night,” I say. I might have said it with a little bit of sarcastic bite, but at least I’m not screaming, “Screw you, Warren!” which is kind of what I feel like saying.
He pauses, then turns around to face me. I watch him nervously, because whatever he’s about to say to me isn’t “good night.” His eyes narrow as he tilts his head, shaking it slowly. “Can I ask you a question?” he finally says, eyeing me with curiosity.