“No!”
Good Lord. I stood, folding the almost-completed blanket back in its bag and dropping it in the corner. Watching them roll around laughing was as fun as it was painful. It was exactly what Jamie had been deprived of.
I tried to be everything for him, the qualities often seen in a mother as well as a father, but there were some things I’d never be able to do. I knew for a fact, with our history, he’d never let loose and tackle me to the ground. And part of me wondered if Garrett knew that somehow.
They wrestled around, hollering for a few more minutes before they finally tired, lying across the floor like floppy noodles.
“All right, you crazies, it’s time for bed.”
It was surreal walking around the living room with Garrett, cleaning up while Jamie changed and brushed his teeth. It was even more surreal when Jamie brought his book out, and he and I read on the couch while Garrett stretched out on the floor, eyes closed and hands behind his head, listening.
One chapter and a heart full of emotional flutters later, Jamie was tucked away in his room with Sadie for the night.
Garrett had stepped into the bathroom, so I went to my room to set up my textbooks and laptop for the night. I was reading through my planner when a light tap sounded on my door.
“Hey, I’m going to head out.”
I busied myself tracing the words on my planner, pretending to be jotting something down so I wouldn’t have to turn around. Hearing his voice in the privacy of my room felt intimate, and I wasn’t sure I could hide my thoughts if I looked at him. With how flushed I felt, it was sure to be written all over my face.
“All right.”
I could sense him standing at the door, waiting for me to say something else, and I hated how ridiculous I was acting. I was being a wuss, and I didn’t want him to leave without telling him what I’d wanted to say earlier. What he needed to hear.
I twisted around, right as he began edging back out of the room, “Garrett, wait.”
He paused; his fingers curled around the door frame.
“I just want you to know, your ex was an idiot. Is an idiot. I’d like to think most women aren’t like that. Don’t let it keep you from being happy. You’re an amazing man, and one day you’re going to make some lucky woman the happiest person alive.”
He pushed the door open to accommodate his wide shoulders, and I dropped my gaze, watching his feet cross the floor until they stopped directly in front of me. One more step and he’d be touching me.
I was frozen, staring at his socked feet and considering my options when he pressed a quick, chaste kiss to the side of my head.
“Thanks, Maddie. And not just for that.”
Goosebumps erupted all down my arms, and I had no idea what to say. You’re welcome? My brain had logged out the second he entered my room, and at the touch of his mouth, it’d officially erected an Out of Commission sign. By the time I looked up, he was already pulling the door closed behind him.
Later that night, long after I’d heard the front door shut, I sat in bed staring at the same textbook I’d been holding for an hour. Still feeling the imprint of his lips against my head, I finally acknowledged what I’d been afraid to admit, even to myself.
I cared for Garrett Rowe much more than just a friend. Much, much more.
Chapter Seventeen
When I was pregnant with Jamie, I puked numerous times a day during the first five months. I lost weight and struggled to go to school because of how often I got sick. It wasn’t pretty. There wasn’t a single thing about me that had the pregnancy glow.
This felt kind of like that.
I’d woken around three in the morning and had to sprint to the bathroom when flames shot up my chest and through my mouth, not stopping to collect go.