But then he surprises me. He obeys without a fight, settling into position. Once his head is bent, I give in to the urge to touch him, running my fingers through his hair and along the back of his neck, over each vertebrae until they disappear into his shirt.
“This is how I want you when you come over. I’ll get you something to kneel on, but consider this your default position. And you’ll stay like this until I tell you what to do.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Okay, now stand up and look at me.”
When he does, and I’m staring up into his vivid blue eyes, there is less fire in them. And I don’t quite know how I feel about that.
“How did that feel?” I ask.
His head bounces in a subtle nod. “It was good. Easy.”
“You should do some research when you get home. I’ll send you some websites and blogs that are good for beginners. I want you to read them a little each day.”
As I speak, I can see his gaze travel from my eyes to my lips then down to my neck and back up to my eyes.
“What are you doing?” I ask.
He swallows. “I want to touch you. I think I’m going to hate this if I can’t touch you.”
A laugh bubbles up from my chest, and maybe it’s because it sounds more like a joke than a real complaint. But when I see his face freeze, I realize he’s being serious. “Why do you want to touch me?”
His brow scrunches in confusion. “Is that a trick question?” When I don’t respond, he continues, “You just sucked my dick in your kitchen, and now we’re going to act like it was nothing.” He voices his complaints, his tone rising in volume. My eyes pop open in surprise as he adds, “I’m thinking about sex the entire time we’re together, and I can’t explain why, but I just want to fucking touch you.”
Then for some reason, I decide to play with him. “What if I never let you come? Would you still want to touch me?”
“Yes,” he answers without hesitation.
Shit, now I want to give in. I want to let him touch every square inch of me. Let him do whatever he wants. If he wants to fuck me, lick me, kiss me, whatever, I’d let him. But I have to stop myself because this isn’t about what he wants. And I can’t let him have what he wants or I’m going to spoil him. And all this will be for nothing.
“Well, the good news is that you will get rewards, but not for every time you obey me. And not right now.”
His jaw clenches as disappointment washes over him. Even though I just told him he would get rewarded eventually, apparently Beau likes instant gratification. He clearly has a lot to learn.
For now, I have actual business to settle.
“Okay, we’re out of the scene now,” I say as I pull myself away from him and round my desk to sit in the chair. On my computer, I pull up the mile-long to-do list. “Because I have something to talk to you about. Well, an offer really.”
When he stares at me in confusion, I point to the extra chair. “Sit down.”
He obviously likes taking orders because he does.
“I know you’re out of a job, and I could actually use some help around here, so I want to offer it to you. Would you be willing to do some actual work for me? Painting, unpacking, maybe some light handiwork.”
“As your sub,” he replies, and it almost sounds like a statement instead of a question.
“No. I’ll pay you.”
“Why can’t I be both? I mean at the same time.”
“I’m confused,” I reply. “You want to stay in your sub role while doing work at my house?”