My spine is still tense as I stare at her. She’s right, but I still feel as if I’m missing something.
After sipping down more of her ice water, she heaves a sigh. “Okay…I have an idea. Do you trust me?”
“Umm…what is it?” I ask, staring at her with concern.
“Let me show you. You can feel everything before you do it to him.”
My eyes nearly bug out of my head. I swear to God, most days it feels like I am not cut out for this business at all.
“You want to…” I point to my own chest.
With a laugh, she squeezes my shoulder. “I’m not trying to have sex with you, Maggie. Relax. But I think if you experience it from his perspective, it will make you feel better.”
“I’m nervous,” I admit, which makes her smile fade.
“Good. You should be. Now, come on.”
As she climbs off her barstool and heads down toward room fourteen, I start to feel nauseous. Glancing around the room, I watch for anyone that could see me heading off into one of our most intimidating rooms, with the most fearsome woman at Salacious.
I should really just be glad it’s not a voyeur room because no one can watch as Madame Kink herself spanks me with God knows what.
Am I really doing this?
Using my universal key, I unlock the door and quickly slip inside before anyone can see us. Immediately, she starts pulling things off the walls as if she’s done this a million times, which honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if she has.
Without a word, I start disrobing, shedding my shirt first and then my skirt, until I’m in nothing but my bra and underwear. I’ve seen her in far less. In fact, there’s not a single friend of mine that I haven’t seen naked at Salacious. I’m really the only one holding back. It makes me feel like such an outsider, but I’ve been doing this to myself the whole time. Letting all of those judgmental voices from my youth ruin my sex life.
When Eden turns around to find me ready, she nods approvingly. “I’ll start slow, okay? We’re going to use the green, yellow, red safe word system. Green is good to go. Yellow means slow down or you need a break. Red means stop. Deal?”
“Yep.”
She winks before holding a hand up toward the ring and cuffs fixed to the wall. “Let’s just stick to standing since we don’t need the bed. Unless you change your mind about the sex…”
I can’t help the heat that spreads across my cheeks.
“Oh, you’re so cute when you blush. Make sure your man gets to see that sometimes. I bet he’d love it too.”
Leaving her second invitation for sex behind, I step up to the cuffs. “I’m flattered,” I stammer. “But I made him promise to be exclusive, so I have to be too.”
She laughs as she clips one hand in the harsh metal cuff. “Oh, it’s serious, then?”
“For now,” I reply, letting the tender affection I feel for him warm the center of my chest at the thought.
“Just for now?”
“Well, I’m going to Phoenix to open the new club. It’s just temporary, but long-distance relationships are hard, and he’s young. I couldn’t bear the thought of him cheating on me. So I figure it’s just best to break it off.”
She slumps against the wall, giving me a soft expression of concern. “Is that what you want to do?”
“Do I have a choice?”
Her brow furrows. “Have you ever put your personal life before your work, Maggie?”
“Work is my life, and I don’t feel bad about that.”