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Mr. Wrong Number(58)

Author:Lynn Painter

“Beth with human resources is also on the line, just in case we require assistance, okay?”

Oh, my God. “Um, okay.”

“It’s been brought to our attention that you don’t have any children. Is this true?”

My ears started buzzing and I felt queasy. “Um, technically yes, but if you’ll let me ex—”

“So you completely fabricated two children in order to get this job, is that correct?”

“No!” My heartbeat was going bonkers as I tried to think of a way to explain. “I mean, kind of yes. God. It started as a tiny misunderstanding, and then I didn’t know how—”

“We cannot have a parenting columnist who isn’t a parent.” Glenda sounded so cold that my throat hurt. “But bigger than that, one of our core values at the Times is integrity, Olivia. Dishonesty is absolutely unacceptable and will not be tolerated.”

I blinked fast and felt both cold and hot. And also like a terrible human being. I tried not to cry. “I’m so sorry. Do you think we could get together and—”

“We have no choice but to terminate your employment.” It was clear Glenda didn’t care to hear my side of it, and I didn’t blame her. “Beth is going to take over the call and give you information on COBRA and your NDA. Take care.”

Just like that Glenda was gone, and the nice HR lady started going over my nondisclosure agreement. I listened as she explained the legal recourse of telling secrets, and it made me think of my own secrets.

How the hell had they found out?

I hadn’t told anyone other than Colin that I was the 402 Mom, but he wouldn’t tell, right? I mean, who the hell would he tell? He was too busy—and too self-absorbed—to tattle to the newspaper about my dishonesty.

I could still hear his words on the balcony. You really think in a town like Omaha it’s not going to come out?

As if on cue Colin appeared, skipping down the loft steps, looking like expensive sin. He could’ve been in a brochure for a country club that very second, in his bare feet and tailored pants, throwing out his good haircut and bone structure like tangible pheromones.

But as I laid eyes on all of that sophistication, it hit me—he was the one who told. He had to be. I was positive he hadn’t called the paper and ratted me out or anything like that, but I was equally positive he’d probably laughingly recounted to my brother or some of his rich-boy buddies the story of his idiotic friend who was pulling off an idiotic ruse.

He’d probably seen the billboard and told the story.

Dammit, I’d known everything was too good to be true. The job had been too good to be true, and so had my “friendship” with Colin. What the hell had I been thinking, trusting the guy who told me in sixth grade that my makeup looked like something a drunk old lady would paint on her face?

I turned away from him and listened to the details of how to continue my insurance before the HR girl officially terminated both me and the phone call. The second I hung up, Colin stepped into my line of sight and said, “Who was that? What’s wrong?”

I just shook my head and blinked fast, but tears fell as I managed, “It’s . . . God. It’s just . . . of course.”

He took a step toward me and I held out my hand. “Listen, Colin. Can you just go?”

His eyebrows were crinkled like he was worried. Yeah, right. His eyes traveled all over my face as he said, “Yeah, but maybe I can help.”

I croaked, “You can’t.”

“But maybe there’s a—”

“You’ve already helped enough, okay?” I wiped at my eyes but my voice was throaty when I crossed my arms and said, “Thanks for sexing me up, Col, but you need to leave.”

“Col?” He leaned back a little, like I’d taken a swipe at him, and said, “What just happened?”

“What just happened?” I sniffled and another stupid tear fell, but I didn’t feel sad anymore. I was on-fire pissed, and I narrowed my eyes at that jackass. “I trusted Colin Beck, that’s what happened. I just got fired, that’s what happened.”

“What?” He looked confused. “You got fired?”

“Yeah, as it turns out, they don’t like it when their parenting columnists aren’t parents.”

“Oh, shit. They found out?” His eyebrows went up. “Wait. You don’t think that I—”

“Of course I think that, Colin. You’re the only one who knew.”

He looked speechless for a second—sucks getting caught, bro—and then he said, “Livvie, why would I—”

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