“Yes.”
“And you can’t believe it yourself?”
“I can’t. I mean, can you?” I put my hands in my jacket pockets to keep from touching her and smiled. “After all this time? It’s pretty crazy.”
She smiled back but I could tell it was fake. Something was wrong. She said, “It is crazy. I mean, Colin Beck falling in love with a batshit-crazy mess like me? Who could ever believe that?”
Ah, shit. “That’s not what I meant.”
She shook her head. “Maybe not, but it is exactly what it is. You fell in ‘love’ in spite of yourself, regardless of everything you know about me. You think you’re in love with me and even you have a hard time believing it.”
“Dammit, Liv—”
“Don’t call me that.”
“Well, then, dammit, Olivia.” I gritted my teeth. “And can you maybe not air quote my feelings like it’s a joke?”
She moved the strap of her bag to the other shoulder. “But it is a joke, Colin. Come on. You don’t love me, just like I don’t love you. We both love good sex and witty banter. That’s all it was.”
I had no idea what to say to that, to her utter disregard for my feelings. “You’re wrong.”
“I’m not.” She pulled her keys out of her coat pocket. “If I didn’t find out about the Wrong Number thing, you would’ve outgrown me by the second time I spilled something in your Audi or wore the wrong shoes to the club.”
“Wow. After everything, you still really think that little of me?” I was surprised her words could make me feel so much shittier than I already did, but I guess I’d never known just how much of an asshole she thought I was. “Um, I guess that about covers everything. Later, then, Marshall.”
I turned to walk out of the coffee shop, and something inside of me died when I heard her quietly say, “Later, then, Beck.”
22
Olivia
THANKSGIVING DAY
“She always recovers from her messes, though.” My mother stood in the kitchen in her stupid pumpkin sweater with my grandma and my auntie Midge—both in stupid pumpkin sweaters—and discussed me as if I weren’t right there in the living room with the rest of the family.
“Your mess-recovering abilities are second to none.” Jack gave me a smirk from where he was lying on the floor, and kicked my leg with his Nike. “So impressive.”
“Shut it.”
“He’s right, Liv,” Will said, grinning. “Unmatched.”
“Hilarious. You both look like idiots in your sweaters, by the way.” I wanted to ditch the family and go play in the backyard with the boys, but since it was Thanksgiving, I’d agreed to stay inside with the adults and “visit.”
“You don’t look cool in yours, either,” Jack said to me before saying to Will, “Liv has been so damned cranky lately.”
“She seriously punched me yesterday and she wasn’t playing,” Will chimed in.
“Can you morons be quiet, please?” I leaned forward to better hear the TV. We were watching a DVD my dad had burned of Thanksgiving episodes of a bunch of shows, and Friends was currently on. I tuned all of them out for most of the episode until I heard Will say Colin’s name.
I kept my eyes on the TV as Jack said, “Yeah. He’s taking a promotion in Chicago.”
“He’s selling the condo?” Will asked.
“Yeah. It’s the best unit in the building, so it’ll sell in like a day.”
“When?”
They both looked at me. Holy shit, I’d said it out loud?
“Hello?” I waved my hands for them to hurry and answer. “When is he moving, Jack?”
“Not that it’s any of your business anymore, but I think he’s starting next week and staying in a hotel until he finds a house.”
I blinked and felt a little light-headed. “I can’t believe he didn’t tell me.”
Jack squinted. “You hate him. Why would he tell you?”
“I don’t hate him.” I stared at the TV without actually watching. He was leaving? He was leaving and wasn’t even going to tell me, like we were strangers? I felt like I couldn’t breathe.
“C’mere,” Jack said to me out of the side of his mouth, glancing over at my mom with shifty eyes like he didn’t want her to hear.
I moved down to the floor and sat beside him. “What?”
“Don’t get dirty, Liv,” my mom yelled, scowling and stirring something on the stove. “We still have to take the picture.”