She was the emotionally strong one in the family. Not until Pamela’s death did she realize how strong. When they’d heard the terrible news, Jerry had withdrawn behind a brick wall of pain, unwilling and perhaps afraid to reveal his anguish. Seth had been in shock, blinded by grief and fear of what would happen to him and the children without Pamela.
So everyone had turned to her. She was the one who had made the funeral arrangements. She was the one others had turned to for comfort and help. She was emotionally strong. Calm. A pillar on which others could lean.
The base of that pillar was crumbling now, Sharon realized, and threatening to collapse.
The knot blocking her throat felt as big as a watermelon. She’d started out her day with such good intentions, hoping to bridge the gap between her and Jerry, but he wanted none of it.
She lay down on the bed, pulled a blanket over her shoulders, and stared at the wall.
Forty years and she never knew Jerry didn’t like walnuts.
Forty years was a hell of a long time to live with a man and never know he liked his spaghetti with meatballs.
Some time later Sharon heard a sound, but she didn’t move her gaze away from the wall to investigate.
“Damn it, Sharon, say something.”
She could picture Jerry framed in the doorway, but she hadn’t the strength or the will to pull her attention away from the blank wall.
“I’m talking to you,” he said again.
She’d heard all she wanted to from him. More than she’d needed to know.
“The hell with you, then,” Jerry muttered, and stalked away.
Forty years she’d invested in this marriage, in this man. She’d kept his home, borne him children, molded her life to fit his. Forty years and they could barely tolerate one another.
To hell with her, then, Jerry had said. That was exactly where she felt she was. Hell.
Seth had never intended to stay for the Christmas program practice. He’d thought to drop the boys off at the church and head home to catch up on some job-related reading. Besides, he wanted to be there when Mrs. Merkle returned. They had several matters to discuss.
His head had been spinning ever since his conversation with Mrs. Ackerman. If the employment agency hadn’t sent Mrs. Merkle, who had? He proposed to find out at the earliest opportunity.
The twins were excited about their part in the Christmas pageant and had chatted like magpies during the short drive to the church. When he’d arrived, Seth had impulsively decided to park and go inside. He’d stay just long enough to say hello to Reba, thank her for their dinner date, and be on his way.
That’s what he’d told himself he’d do, but the minute he’d entered the room, he’d felt compelled to sit back and watch Reba manage the children. For a single woman with limited experience working with kids, she did a masterful job. Two or three other women were there to lend a hand, but it was Reba who was in charge.
The practice started out with all the children grouped together. Mrs. Foster was there as well, tight-lipped and looking miserable as she banged away on the piano keys without much finesse. He grimaced a couple of times at her basic lack of talent.
To the best of his memory, Seth had never seen the older woman smile. Half the time she looked as if she’d been sucking on something bitter.
The children, while familiar with the songs, gave it a halfhearted effort. Their voices blended nicely, but from the back of the room, Seth couldn’t understand the words. Reba’s shoulders sagged, and she said something that made everyone laugh. The next attempt was much better.
A few minutes later she broke the group into three sections to rehearse their individual roles. Seth decided to wait until Judd and Jason came on the scene. Judd may have been assigned the role of an angel, but he burst onto the stage with the shepherds watching over their sheep like Rambo intent on revenge. All he needed was a submachine gun for a prop. Jason followed and growled like a lion.
Reba handled the situation well, reminding his six-year-old sons that they weren’t there to frighten anyone. Their mission, if they chose to accept it, was to tell the shepherds wonderful, exciting news. Judd and Jason smiled and nodded.
The boys second attempt was much better. Judd’s voice bellowed out loud and clear as he shared the wondrous news.
Before Seth realized it, the hour was gone. The twins raced to his side the minute they’d finished. Seth waited until most of the other kids were gone before he approached Reba. He felt a bit awkward, hiding in the back of the room that way, but had derived a good deal of pleasure just watching her.