Don’t panic.
Maybe he’ll do the polite thing and ignore them.
“What are those?” he asks, jabbing them with a blunt finger.
“They’re…you know what they are!”
He glances between my suitcase and the dresser. “Why didn’t you unpack them like everything else?”
My face is a deeper shade of red than the panties now. “I didn’t…know if I was going to need them.”
Understanding dawns. “You brought them in case you meet someone.”
I stay staunchly silent. After some very brittle digging, I hand him the guest book. Only now he doesn’t seem as interested in taking it and leaving. He’s watching me from beneath those thickly drawn eyebrows. “You have a pair of hook-up panties?”
“No. I don’t,” I blurt. “I’d have to hook up in them at least once to call them that.”
Why?
Why did I say that?
Can I please fast forward to the end of my life now?
“You date, right?” He’s not letting this drop? Mere moments ago, he was dying to get out of here, now he looks like he’s settling in for a conversation? “You must date constantly.”
“Why would you assume that?”
He rolls his eyes. “Oh, we’re going to play games?”
“Games?”
“You’re going to pretend you don’t know you’re beautiful to get a compliment out of me. Is that how this is going to go, half pint?” His laughter is strained. “It’s not happening.”
I’m not going to point out that he just referred to me as beautiful.
Meaning he already complimented me.
That would be childish.
“I date, yes. But I wouldn’t call it constantly. More like…occasionally.”
Is there a slight sheen of sweat on his forehead that wasn’t there a moment ago? “And you’ve never gotten to use your hook-up panties.”
“Stop calling them that.” I smack him hard in the shoulder and he doesn’t even flinch. “I’m not a virgin. I’m just…I’m picky. Unforgivably picky. It’s why I’m going to end up alone.”
He processes that with an unreadable expression. “Let me guess. You want a man who wears a suit and argyle fucking socks to work and reads the finance section of the newspaper at breakfast while mumbling ‘yes dear, no dear’ like a robot.”
“That’s a pretty bold assumption.”
His upper lip curls. “Am I wrong?”
It’s the challenge in his eye that pushes me past polite into uncharted territory. Maybe discovering poor, dead Oscar brought me to this place, too. A place of clarity. I’m not sure. But as I kneel on the floor beside this behemoth, I hear echoes in the back of my mind. People throughout my life, college friends, colleagues and especially my parents, telling me I’m sensible. That I always play it safe. Even my second graders like to point out my idiosyncrasies. Giggling over the way I check the temperature of my coffee with a pinkie before sipping—even after five or six gulps. Just to be sure. Sending out search parties for kids who take longer than five minutes in the bathroom, like a nervous nelly. And I’m not claiming that my recent proximity to murder has transformed me into the new Lara Croft or anything, but I’ve felt bolder and more in charge in the last two days than I’ve ever felt before.
This bully isn’t going to knock me back a step.
Besides.
I haven’t always wanted to play it safe. Not in every aspect of my life.
I’ve always had a little…or maybe not so little…desire for some added…zest.
“I guess I wouldn’t mind the suit and socks and finance section type of man. No, that would be fine with me. As long as he doesn’t treat me like porcelain in bed.” Lord, it is incredibly satisfying to witness the smirk fade from his face. Take that, muscle head. “That’s where the pickiness comes in. It seems I can’t have both. On one hand, I’d like a man who makes a good living and wants a family someday. On the other, I’d like to be manhandled once in a while. Just sort of thrown down and told who is boss, you know? Is that so much to ask? But on the three occasions I’ve dated a man long enough to…to do…it, they insisted on treating me with respect in bed. It was incredibly disappointing. Zero stars. Would not recommend.”
That sheen of sweat is a lot more obvious now.
Along with his utter shock.
I like the bold new me. I’ve just rendered a bounty hunter speechless!