“I mean…” Needing to distract him, I smooth a palm up the center of his pecs and he gives an audible swallow, watching my hand as it moves upward, then back down in the direction of his belt buckle. “If you want to revisit the parking lot, I won’t object.”
“Taylor,” he rasps, grasping my wrist, holding it away while he gets his breathing back under control. “Don’t do this to me, sweetheart.”
I pull my hand away, pretending his rejection doesn’t make my throat hurt. Not when I grasp his purpose and sympathize with it. “Will you let me tag along or not?”
“Of course I will.”
“Good.” I force a smile onto my face, even as his rebuff continues to sting. It’s rejection my brain understands, but my heart doesn’t want to accept. “Let’s eat.”
He stands still in the middle of the road for another few seconds, a vein ticking in his temple, until he eventually follows.
Chapter 14
Myles
* * *
What am I going to do about this woman?
Taylor leans down to refill my coffee mug and it takes every ounce of my willpower not to take the pot out of her hand, set it down and pull her into my lap. In fact, I’m pretty goddamn positive it would feel like the most natural thing in the world. And the more I begin to admit things like this to myself, the more determined I am to keep my hands off of her.
When we first met, I decided she was the relationship type, the settling down kind.
Not for me.
She was not for me.
Then she throws me the rough sex curveball and I think, maybe…maybe I could give in and show her how it’s done.
She proceeded to show me how it’s done, instead.
Rougher. More.
Pretend it’s you.
She’s ruining me with her mouth and her trust and her apple-scented skin. I can’t sleep or think straight, let alone focus on this case. And now…now that I overheard what she said about me on the beach, I’m exposed. I’m worrying about her feelings like it’s my fucking job. I want to be the man she thinks I am. Maybe I always have been and I hadn’t met the right woman for me yet. Maybe I’ve just been running so long I can’t see myself clearly anymore. But when she smiles at me…I do. Or I start trying to see him.
I don’t want to try, though. I’ve gone down the path of attempting to be good and noble and heroic and it turned out I was meant to be the villain. Being the villain has been easier than facing the past—and I never should have taken this case, either, because deep down, there is hope germinating. Hope that I can move forward from what happened. Taylor is watering that hope, giving it sunlight. But moving past what happened to that kid…no. No, I won’t be absolved. I won’t excuse my actions by letting go.
If I’m not careful, I’m going to have a repeat performance, too. With Taylor. I need to stay focused, protect her, figure out who killed Oscar Stanley and move on. End of story.
Unfortunately, my resolve is on seriously shaky legs.
Taylor returns to the coffee maker with the half-empty pot and I lean back to watch her walk. Because sweet Jesus, who sold her those tight pants? She might as well be naked. I can see the outline of her thong through the gray nylon. I have to grit my teeth against the urge to follow her into the kitchen and yank those buns up into my lap. Where they belong.
“You ready to go?” she asks, looking through her purse. Totally unaware that she’s making me hard and doing strange things inside my chest at the same time.
“Yeah.” I shove away from the table and stand. “Just the library, right, Taylor?”
She blinks at me innocently. “Yes. Just the library.”
Bullshit.
But we’re going to see how this plays out. If I don’t take her into town, she’ll simply go on her own. There’s no way I’ll get any work done if I’m worrying about her safety. “You good to take my bike?” I ask on my way to the door. When she doesn’t answer, I turn back around with my hand on the knob. “Half pint.”
“I’m thinking about it.”
I cross my arms and lean back against the entrance. “What has you worried?”
“Crashing.” She is wringing her purse in her hands. “There is no hard outer shell on a motorcycle, Myles. Or airbags.”
“I’m aware of that, Taylor.”
“But I am trying to be braver.” She comes toward me like a woman walking a plank, seconds from plunging into alligator-infested waters. “I suppose that means chancing death once in a while, right?”