“Stop it.” A harsh note creeps into my sister’s voice. “If you want to blame someone, blame Mother. Blame Zeus. Gods, blame the entire Thirteen if you want. We didn’t choose this life. We’re just trying to survive it. That looks different on all four of us. Do not apologize to me, and certainly don’t call yourself selfish.”
My throat is burning, but I refuse to indulge in self-pity enough to cry. I fight for a smile. “You’re pretty smart for a younger sister.”
“I have two brilliant older sisters to learn from.” She looks away. “I have to go. Call if you need anything, but don’t you dare change your plans for us.”
The fierceness in her voice ensures that I won’t. I force a nod. “I won’t. I promise.”
“Good. Be safe. Love you.”
“Love you, too.”
Then she’s gone, leaving me staring into the empty fireplace and wondering if I’ve made a horrible mistake.
Chapter 19
Hades
Dusk is stealing across the sky by the time I finish with the various things that needed to be accomplished today and go to find Persephone. Our territory is as prepared as we can possibly be for what’s coming. I’ve had my people put out word that there might be supply disruptions and to plan accordingly. The spies in the upper city are on high alert and ready to slip back across the river to safety. Everyone is watching and waiting to see what Zeus and Demeter will do.
I’m tired. Really fucking tired. The kind of exhaustion that sneaks up and drags a person down between one step and the next.
I don’t quite realize how much I’m looking forward to seeing Persephone until I step into the mini library and find her curled up on the couch. She’s wearing one of the dresses Juliette delivered, a happy bright blue, and reading a book. There’s a small fire crackling in the fireplace, and the sheer normalcy of the scene nearly knocks me on my ass. For a fraction of a moment, I allow myself to imagine that this is a sight that would greet me at the end of every day. Instead of dragging myself to my bedroom and collapsing on my mattress alone, I’d find this woman waiting for me.
I put the fantasy away. I can’t afford to want things like that. Not in general, and not with her. Temporary. This whole thing is temporary.
I brace myself and step farther into the room, letting the door close softly behind me. Persephone looks up, and the haunted expression on her face has me immediately moving to her. “What’s wrong?”
“Besides the obvious?”
I sit on the couch next to her, close enough to be an invitation if she wants it but far enough away to give her space if she needs it. I’ve barely settled when Persephone crawls into my lap and draws her legs up until she’s balanced on my thighs. I wrap my arms around her and rest my chin on her head. “What happened?”
“Hermes delivered a message from my sisters.”
I’d known about that, of course. Hermes might have an uncanny ability to slip past my guards, but even she isn’t able to dodge the cameras completely. “You called them and the conversation with your sisters upset you.”
“I guess you could say that.” She relaxes by inches against me. “I’ve just been sitting here, stewing in my self-pity. I’m a selfish asshole who threw this whole mess into motion because I wanted to be free.”
I’ve never heard her sound so bitter. I give her back a tentative stroke and she sighs, so I do it again. “Your mother wasn’t forced to take the position of Demeter. She went after it.”
“I’m aware.” She traces my buttons with a single finger. “Like I said, it’s self-pity, which is nearly unforgivable, but I’m worried about my sisters and afraid that I made the situation worse by taking off instead of just going along with my mother’s plans.”
I’m not sure what I’m supposed to say to make her feel better. One of the side effects of being an only child and an orphan is that I don’t have much in the way of social skills. I can intimidate and threaten and rule, but comfort is beyond my expertise. I pull her closer as if that’s enough to gather all her scattered pieces together again. “If your sisters are half as capable as you, they’ll be more than fine.”
She gives a shuddering laugh. “I think they might be more capable than me. At least Callisto and Psyche. Eurydice is still so young. We’ve kept her sheltered over the years, and now I’m wondering if that was a mistake.”
“Because of Orpheus.”