"Thank you, Esme," I murmured as I turned toward Carlisle.
I was suddenly nervous, wishing I had asked for his vote first. I was sure that this was the vote that mattered most, the vote that counted more than any majority.
Carlisle wasn't looking at me.
"Edward," he said.
"No," Edward growled. His jaw was strained tight, his lips curled back from his teeth.
"It's the only way that makes sense," Carlisle insisted. "You've chosen not to live without her, and that doesn't leave me a choice."
Edward dropped my hand, shoving away from the table. He stalked out of the room, snarling under his breath.
"I guess you know my vote." Carlisle sighed.
I was still staring after Edward. "Thanks," I mumbled.
An earsplitting crash echoed from the other room.
I flinched, and spoke quickly. "That's all I needed. Thank you. For wanting to keep me. I feel exactly the same way about all of you, too." My voice was jagged with emotion by the end.
Esme was at my side in a flash, her cold arms around me.
"Dearest Bella," she breathed.
I hugged her back. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Rosalie looking down at the table, and I realized that my words could be construed in two ways.
"Well, Alice," I said when Esme released me. "Where do you want to do this?" Alice stared at me, her eyes widening with terror.
"No! No! NO!" Edward roared, charging back into the room. He was in my face before I had time to blink, bending over me, his expression twisted in rage. "Are you insane?" he shouted. "Have you utterly lost your mind?"
I cringed away, my hands over my ears.
"Um, Bella," Alice interjected in an anxious voice. "I don't think I'm ready for that. I'll need to prepare…"
"You promised," I reminded her, glaring under Edward's arm.
"I know, but… Seriously, Bella! I don't have any idea how to not kill you."
"You can do it," I encouraged. "I trust you."
Edward snarled in fury.
Alice shook her head quickly, looking panicked.
"Carlisle?" I turned to look at him.
Edward grabbed my face in his hand, forcing me to look at him. His other hand was out, palm toward Carlisle.
Carlisle ignored that. "I'm able to do it," he answered my question. I wished I could see his expression. "You would be in no danger of me losing control."
"Sounds good." I hoped he could understand; it was hard to talk clearly the way Edward held my jaw.
"Hold on," Edward said between his teeth. "It doesn't have to be now."
"There's no reason for it not to be now," I said, the words coming out distorted. "I can think of a few."
"Of course you can," I said sourly. "Now let go of me."
He freed my face, and folded his arms across his chest. "In about two hours, Charlie will be here looking for you. I wouldn't put it past him to involve the police."
"All three of them." But I frowned.
This was always the hardest part. Charlie, Renee. Now Jacob, too. The people I would lose, the people I would hurt. I wished there was some way that I could be the only one to suffer, but I knew that was impossible.
At the same time, I was hurting them more by staying human. Putting Charlie in constant danger through my proximity. Putting Jake in worse danger still by drawing his enemies across the land he felt bound to protect. And Renee–I couldn't even risk a visit to see my own mother for fear of bringing my deadly problems along with me!
I was a danger magnet; I'd accepted that about myself. Accepting this, I knew I needed to be able to take care of myself and protect the ones I loved, even if that meant that I couldn't be with them. I needed to be strong.
"In the interest of remaining inconspicuous," Edward said, still talking through his gritted teeth, but looking at Carlisle now, "I suggest that we put this conversation off, at the very least until Bella finishes high school, and moves out of Charlie's house."
"That's a reasonable request, Bella," Carlisle pointed out.
I thought about Charlie's reaction when he woke up this morning, if–after all that life had put him through in the last week with Harry's loss, and then I had put him through with my unexplained disappearance–he were to find my bed empty. Charlie deserved better than that. It was just a little more time; graduation wasn't so far away…
I pursed my lips. "I'll consider it."
Edward relaxed. His jaw unclenched.