"Yeah, there's a load of stuff like that–wolf things. I'm still learning. I can't imagine what it was like for Sam, trying to deal with this alone. It sucks bad enough to go through it with a whole pack for support."
"Sam was alone?"
"Yeah." Jacob's voice lowered. "When I… changed, it was the most… horrible, the most terrifying thing I've ever been through–worse than anything I could have imagined. But I wasn't alone–there were the voices there, in my head, telling me what had happened and what I had to do. That kept me from losing my mind, I think. But Sam…" He shook his head. "Sam had no help."
This was going to take some adjusting. When Jacob explained it like that, it was hard not to feel compassion for Sam. I had to keep reminding myself that there was no reason to hate him anymore.
"Will they be angry that I'm with you?" I asked.
He made a face. "Probably."
"Maybe I shouldn't–"
"No, it's okay," he assured me. "You know a ton of things that can help us. It's not like you're just some ignorant human. You're like a… I don't know, spy or something. You've been behind enemy lines."
I frowned to myself. Was that what Jacob would want from me? Insider information to help them destroy their enemies? I wasn't a spy, though. I hadn't been collecting that kind of information. Already, his words made me feel like a traitor.
But I wanted him to stop Victoria, didn't I? No.
I did want Victoria to be stopped, preferably before she tortured me to death or ran into Charlie or killed another stranger. I just didn't want Jacob to be the one to stop her, or rather to try. I didn't want Jacob within a hundred miles of her.
"Like the stuff about the mind-reading bloodsucker," he continued, oblivious to my reverie. "That's the kind of thing we need to know about. That really sucks that those stories are true. It makes everything more complicated. Hey, do you think this Victoria can do anything special?"
"I don't think so," I hesitated, and then sighed. "He would have mentioned it." "He? Oh, you mean Edward–oops, sorry. I forgot. You don't like to say his name. Or hear it."
I squeezed my midsection, trying to ignore the throbbing around the edges of my chest. "Not really, no."
"Sorry." "How do you know me so well, Jacob? Sometimes it's like you can read my mind." "Naw. I just pay attention." We were on the little dirt road where Jacob had first taught me to ride the motorcycle. "This good?" I asked. "Sure, sure." I pulled over and cut the engine. "You're still pretty unhappy, aren't you?" he murmured. I nodded, staring unseeingly into the gloomy forest. "Did you ever think… that maybe… you're better off?" I inhaled slowly, and then let my breath out. "No." "'Cause he wasn't the best–"
"Please, Jacob," I interrupted, begging in a whisper. "Could we please not talk about this? I can't stand it."
"Okay." He took a deep breath. "I'm sorry I said anything." "Don't feel bad. If things were different, it would be nice to finally be able to talk to someone about it."
He nodded. "Yeah, I had a hard time keeping a secret from you for two weeks. It must be hell to not be able to talk to anyone."
"Hell," I agreed. Jacob sucked in a sharp breath. "They're here. Let's go." "Are you sure?" I asked while he popped his door open. "Maybe I shouldn't be here." "They'll deal with it," he said, and then he grinned. "Who's afraid of the big, bad wolf?"
"Ha ha," I said. But I got out of the truck, hurrying around the front end to stand close beside Jacob. I remembered only too clearly the giant monsters in the meadow. My hands were trembling like Jacob's had been before, but with fear rather than rage.
Jake took my hand and squeezed it. "Here we go."
14. FAMILY
I COWERED INTO JACOB'S SIDE, MY EYES SCANNING the forest for the other werewolves. When they appeared, striding out from between the trees, they weren't what I was expecting. I'd gotten the image of the wolves stuck in my head. These were just four really big half-naked boys.
Again, they reminded me of brothers, quadruplets. Something about the way they moved almost in synchronization to stand across the road from us, the way they all had the same long, round muscles under the same red-brown skin, the same cropped black hair, and the way their expressions altered at exactly the same moment.
They started out curious and cautious. When they saw me there, half-hidden beside Jacob, they all became furious in the same second.