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Nona the Ninth (The Locked Tomb #3)(33)

Author:Tamsyn Muir

“Yes.”

“I should make her a coffee,” Nona said decisively. “I’m a Teacher’s Aide, I need to look after the teachers too.” And: “Did you know she was a doctor?”

“Yes,” said Hot Sauce, without explaining. And: “When you’re out there today, I want you to pretend to do something.”

“Okay. What?”

“I want you to pretend you’ve got a radio,” said Hot Sauce, “and you’re making a call.”

As Nona had never used a radio nor made a call in her life, she said dubiously, “It’s not going to be very good. There’s nothing out there shaped like a radio so it’ll have to be a pretend radio, and I’m not like Honesty, I can’t do mime or anything.”

Hot Sauce tapped her foot impatiently, her gaze still outside the window for some reason.

“Pretend it’s small. Hand sized.”

“What do I say?”

“Make something up. But hide your mouth.”

When the Angel approached with Noodle’s leash in one hand and what looked to be six weird little cups in the other, she said, “Don’t stay out in the sunshine any more than you have to. He’ll want to walk, so can you put his pattens on? My old man doesn’t need burns on his feet. Noodle’s used to the shoes, but tell him to stop if you see him chew his feet and he’ll stop. I’d keep him inside, except we’ll be using the hair dryer today and he always cringes at the sound. Thanks, Nona, you are my hero. Hot Sauce, can you set up the stations?”

Nona left the Hour of Science behind her and went down the stairs. She checked to make sure the light above the door was still red, which was one of her jobs, as the nice lady teacher always warned her that people would try to come in if the door was unlocked, and they probably wouldn’t be dangerous but if they had another teaching building get taken over by squatters she simply had no idea where they’d go after that. Then Nona tried to put the shoes on Noodle. It was by far the most difficult thing she had ever attempted. It would have been easier to do the weird bone things that Camilla and Palamedes loved her to attempt. Noodle didn’t want to have his pattens put on. He kept staring at Nona over his shoulder every time she wrestled a tiny, dirty white foot into a patten—it was like a little sock over a plastic grate—and there were six of them, she even had to do the legs he often stuck up or folded in at the middle. At one point, Noodle cunningly wriggled his way out of one shoe using another foot and Nona could have shrieked. She said, “Noodle, how dare you?” and he didn’t look guilty at all.

When the pattens were on, he clattered out into the courtyard. He sounded like one and a half horses. He bucketed disconsolately around, smelling things, doing his business, and then drinking from the bowl of chilled water that Nona poured for him. Then he politely clattered away to lie under the big stone seat in the shade, panting.

Nona ambled around the dusty courtyard for a bit herself until she simply felt too hot to live. The heat and the sweat were making her feel faint. She squatted in the shadows close to Noodle’s seat and listened to him breathe, and then she tried to pretend she was taking a very tiny radio out of her pocket. She cupped her hand to one ear, and she walked out into the sunshine, because she loved Hot Sauce and wanted to do it right. The heat made the backs of her knees panic.

“Hello, hello,” she said into her hand. “I am having a conversation with Crown.” Nona remembered that she was meant to be covering her mouth, and did so. She said aloud, “How are you, Crown? Things are fine over here. I wish you were around more. You haven’t come to see me outside of meetings for months and months. I know you said you visited me before, but I was too young and I can’t remember it so it doesn’t really count. Would you like to come to my birthday party on the beach? If I don’t get really mad it’ll probably still be able to happen. You don’t have to bring me a present, but please wear your hair down. Anyway, I love you, so, bye.”

This was as much conversation as she could think up. She pocketed the fake radio and took her hand away from her mouth, then she settled down on the bench in the shade to think. The smoke had cleared and so the air outside wasn’t making her cough, and there were little insects haunting the nearby dead-brown bushes, murmuring busily. There was no bird song, but every so often there was the nice comfortable noise of a car backfiring. Nona put one foot down on the ground to anchor herself, and worked the other foot out of her shoe, and only felt slightly guilty that she was allowed to do such a thing and Noodle wasn’t. It was so hot, and her eyelids felt very heavy, and the stone beneath her was very cool.

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