“Me?” He brings the pizzas inside and tosses the package by the sink. “I’m starving.”
“Do you need to open it?”
“Do you?” He smiles at me with a mouth full of pizza.
“Kinda,” I shoot back. I open the envelope and pull out a script. Mega Man, it’s called, and there’s a Post-it note on the front: CALL ME IMMEDIATELY.
I hand it to him and he barely reacts, wiping tomato sauce off of Bernadette’s cheek and then carefully rubbing it on the other one. There’s a lot of laughing, and it’s easy, and the future’s rolling out in front of us perfectly.
I sometimes forget life’s not a movie.
* * *
? ? ?
Leo’s on the phone in the tea house for a long time after dinner. The kids do their homework and linger. All of us know something’s off. We busy ourselves with things so we can stay downstairs. I over-clean the kitchen, check and recheck the coffee maker. Arthur’s running lines in a robot’s voice. Bernadette colors in the cover of her notebook.
Leo is someone else when he walks through the back door. His shoes are wet from the lawn and he doesn’t stop to take them off. As if trying to avoid the awful premonition I’m having, I focus on his shoes. They’re black sneakers with a brown rubber sole. They’re the same ones he always wears if he’s not running or wearing flip-flops. I like this about Leo, the fact that as far as I know he only has three pairs of shoes. I like seeing them tucked under the daybed in the tea house. I need these shoes to stay.
“Hey, guys. Can we talk for a minute? I have some big news.” He’s all energy, pacing then sitting down and standing up. The three of us sit and wait; I can’t think of any words. “So that was my agent, Jeremy. Paramount is going to do a big-budget action movie called Mega Man.”
“I love Mega Man,” says Arthur. I hate Mega Man, I think.
“Well, who doesn’t?” He gives Arthur his biggest eyes. “The director wants me for the role. I have to audition, but he’s pretty sure I’m right for it.”
I have words: “That’s exciting. Right, guys?” I’m a mom again. He’s leaving and I’m no longer a person who has sex all day. I’m neither beautiful nor compelling. I am Nora, and I am tumbling down a hill. Leo is going to “Asia,” the mythical place where men go when they’re tired of me. I need to grab my children and move them to safety before I roll into the abyss.
Bernadette’s suspicious. “So what do you have to do?”
“The thing is they’re on a tight schedule and need to get me approved right away.” I almost jump in to explain how these things work, but I decide not to help him. He’s going to have to say it himself. “I’m flying out to L.A. tomorrow morning.”
So there it is. My heart is disintegrating into my intestines. I take a deep breath and look at my beautiful children. I cannot believe I’ve done this to them. I cannot believe I let them get in so deep with this guy, and he’s leaving. We’re 0 for 2.
Arthur shakes his head. “Leo, you can’t go. The play’s in a week. We haven’t even done dress rehearsals.”
Bernadette pipes up, “And I’m playing goalie Saturday against the Vipers.” It’s impossible to look away from the fact that my kids do not think of Leo as just a fun diversion, a houseguest who’s helping with the play. They are counting on him.
Leo stops pacing. “I know, guys, and I can’t believe I’m going to miss all that. But I’ll be back by this time next week, for the last dress rehearsal and the big night. Mrs. Sasaki can totally handle it while I’m gone. Actually, you guys are so good you don’t even need a director at this point. And, Bernie, I’ll be here next weekend when you play Brookeville. You’re going to kill it.”
Arthur’s quiet for a beat, as if deciding something. I wonder if he’s comparing this moment to when Ben left. Ben said he’d be back in a vague way; he never gave an exact time. It’s different, but there’s a sameness too. Finally, he speaks. “Oh okay, that’s cool. Well, good luck with the audition.” He’s trying not to cry, and he wants to leave with the upper hand. He offers Leo his hand to shake. “Thanks for all your help.” Leo pulls him into a hug. Bernadette throws her arms around the two of them. She’s crying.
Leo breaks the hugs and gets right in their faces. “You guys. Hear me. This is a week. And it’s just how my work is. My plans get messed up.”