The men consider me, the holes in their ski masks stretched tight around their eyes and mouths. The shorter man’s lips are a dark color, like he hasn’t had enough water.
Behind us, Finn screams, fighting against the straps. If I were to lift him, he’d stop crying right away, he’d blink, his wide eyes looking around him with relief, and curl into me.
“I’m going to come with you,” I say, “but first I’m going to drop my son at my neighbor’s. She lives right up the road, we do it all the time. I’ll tell her my aunt’s ill.”
“You have one minute,” says the shorter man. “If you tell her to call the police or if you try to run, we’ll kill you and your baby. Do you understand?”
“Yes.”
He stays outside, and the other man follows me into the house. My hands shake as I open the buckles on the high chair. Finn twists, reaching his arms toward me. “Don’t worry, sweetheart, you’re okay, mam’s here.”
He breathes in shakily, clutching my hair, looking over my shoulder at the man. I grab his nappy bag and blanket and open the front door.
“Stop,” says the man, and I wonder if this was a game, if he was only pretending to let me leave. I cradle Finn to me, one hand shielding his head. The man points at my feet. “Put on shoes.”
I look down. My bare feet are livid and red from the snow. I push them into a pair of fleece-lined boots and hurry down the path before he can change his mind.
Finn clasps his arms around my neck. I cover the side of his face in kisses as we walk, murmuring to him, breathing in his smell.
When Sophie opens her door, I say, “My aunt’s ill. I need to go to the hospital. Can you mind Finn?”
“Oh, of course.” Sophie holds out her arms, and my throat aches as I hand him to her. Finn’s still right here. I can see him, I can hear him. We haven’t been separated yet. He’s listening to my voice, with his eyes on my face. If I were to lean forward just a few inches, he’d clamber back into my arms.
“Is there anyone behind me?” I ask, trying to keep my voice light.
Sophie’s eyes flare. She glances past me, then gives a small shake of her head.
“I need you to call DI Fenton at Musgrave station and ask him to take Finn somewhere safe.”
Sophie’s face doesn’t change, but she says, “Get inside.”
“Please do it.”
I lean forward to kiss Finn, then turn down the path. After a few paces, I hear her front door close behind me, and the deadbolt shut. She’ll be lifting her phone any second now and dialing the police.
When I step back into my house, the man in my living room has his gun out. He raises it, and I look past the barrel into his eyes.
“It’s fine. She thinks I’m going to see my aunt.” My voice is flat, almost disappointed. I sound like I’m telling the truth. He stares at me for a moment, then tucks the gun into the waistband of his jeans.
As soon as we’re over the garden wall, both men lift their hoods. From the row of houses, we will look like three people out for a walk. No one is ahead of us to see that their faces are covered by ski masks. The field is empty, quiet except for the snow under our boots. The men move the same way, with their shoulders down, their backs straight. They’ve been trained.
On the hill, the dizziness makes it hard to keep my balance. I’m desperate to turn around, to look toward Finn, though Sophie won’t have him anywhere near the window. Fenton will have told her what to do until the police arrive. To act normal, maybe. Or to lock herself in the bathroom with Poppy and Finn. I wince, thinking of how scared she must be.
The branches of the oak tree on top of the hill creak in the wind. We’re in clear sight of all the houses, and then we’re on the far side of the hill, in shade now, and the change in temperature is like dropping into water. I’m alone with the two men, near enough to smell the wool of their masks, and their sweat.
A red Renault Corso is parked in the lane behind the field. The shorter man opens the back door. “Lie down,” he says. I lie across the backseat and he covers me with a blanket.
The two of them sit in front, and the automatic locks close with a metallic thud. The blanket is orange tartan wool, and it smells like a basement, the way sleeping bags often do. I can’t see through the fabric, though I can feel bars of sun and shade as they fall across the backseat.
When we come to a stop, we must be at Ballywalter Road, and now we’re turning right, driving south down the peninsula. In the front, the men will have taken off their masks. No other drivers will notice anything wrong. People will be able to see us, a red car on a country road. My chest starts to convulse, like I’m laughing.