I don’t want to be the reason he doesn’t finish what he started out to do. Years from now, he’ll look back on tonight and he’ll wonder if he made the wrong choice. If maybe our lives would have still turned out the same and we would still end up together, but by waiting three years, he also would have met his goal of writing the book he promised to write.
He’s made such a huge difference in my life. More than he’ll ever know. If it weren’t for him, I don’t think I would have ever regained my confidence. I know I wouldn’t have had the courage to audition anywhere. Just having him in my life one day a year has had such a positive effect on me, I’d hate myself if I did the exact opposite for him.
And none of that includes what just transpired over the last ten minutes. There’s no way he can move to New York when his family needs him now more than ever. Jordyn is going to need him here way more than I need him in New York. He and Ian are both going to need to be here for her and I refuse to be the one to convince him to leave her at a time like this.
I grab my phone and call for a cab before I change my mind.
Ben
I close the door to Jordyn’s bedroom when I hear Fallon’s footsteps coming down the stairs. I walk around the corner to meet her and she gasps, clutching a hand to her heart.
“You scared me,” she says, taking the last step. “How is she?”
I glance down the hallway toward Jordyn’s bedroom. “Better,” I say. “I think the pizza helped.”
Fallon smiles appreciatively. “It wasn’t the pizza that made her feel better, Ben.” She takes two more steps, toward the front door this time. I finally notice the purse around her shoulder and the shoes on her feet. She looks prepared to leave.
She shuffles, putting her weight on one foot. She shrugs, as if I asked her a question, and then she looks back up at me. “Earlier . . .”
“Fallon,” I interject. “Please don’t change your mind.”
She winces, looking up and to the right as if she’s trying to hold back tears. She’s not changing her mind. She can’t. I rush toward her and grab both of her hands. “Please. We can do this. Maybe I can’t move right away, but I will. Things just need to settle around here first.”
She squeezes my hands and releases a sigh. “Jordyn said you got an agent.” Her voice sounds somewhat offended, and she has a right to be. I should have told her that before she heard it from somewhere else, but my mind has been a little preoccupied today.
I nod. “Yeah, a couple months ago. I submitted the book idea to a few and this one really likes it.” I realize where this is going, so I shake my head. “It doesn’t matter? Fallon. I can write something else.”
A stream of light strolls across the walls, and she glances over her shoulder. Her cab is here.
“Please,” I beg. “Just give me your phone number, at least. I’ll call you tomorrow and we’ll figure it out then, okay?” I’m trying to keep my voice soothing and hopeful, but it’s hard hiding the panic that’s building up in my chest.
She regards me with a look that resembles pity. “It’s been an emotional couple of days, Ben. It’s not fair of me to let you make this kind of decision right now.” She presses her lips to my cheek and then turns for the front door. I follow her out, determined not to let her change her mind like this.
When she reaches the cab, she faces me with a steadfast look. “I would never forgive myself if I didn’t encourage you to follow your dreams like you encouraged me to follow mine. Please don’t ask me to be the reason you give them up. It isn’t fair.”
I can feel the desperate appeal in her words, and it forces all of my words back down my throat. She wraps her arms around me, pressing her face against my neck. I hold her tight, hoping if she feels how much I need her to stay with me that she’ll change her mind. But she doesn’t. She releases me and opens the door to the cab.
I’ve never wanted to use physical force on a girl before, but I want to push her to the ground and hold her there until the cab drives away.
“I’ll come here next year,” she says. “I want to meet your nephew. We’ll meet at the restaurant again, okay? Same time, same place?”
What?
Did we even experience the same past eight hours?
Did she fall down the stairs and hit her head?
No, I’m not agreeing to this. She’s crazy if she thinks I’m just going to give her a high five and tell her I’ll see her in a year. I shake my head adamantly and close the door to the cab, refusing to let her climb inside.