As the sun began to come up, I texted William: Okay I will come. And he texted back immediately: Thank you Button.
Then I fell asleep.
* * *
—
In the late morning, I moved about the apartment, putting out clothes on the bed to take with me to the Cayman Islands. I kept stopping to sit on the bed and think. I knew of course why William had chosen to ask me to go there and not to some other place. I pictured myself sitting in a lounge chair next to his, in the sun, just as Catherine had done. I pictured him reading his book about Jane Welsh Carlyle while I read some book myself; I pictured us putting the books down to talk every so often, and then picking our books up again.
* * *
—
At one point, I sat on the bed and said out loud, “Oh Catherine.”
* * *
—
And then I thought, Oh William!
* * *
But when I think Oh William!, don’t I mean Oh Lucy! too?
Don’t I mean Oh Everyone, Oh dear Everybody in this whole wide world, we do not know anybody, not even ourselves!
* * *
—
Except a little tiny, tiny bit we do.
* * *
—
But we are all mythologies, mysterious. We are all mysteries, is what I mean.
* * *
—
This may be the only thing in the world I know to be true.
This book is dedicated to my husband,
Jim Tierney
And to anyone who needs it—this is for you
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
I would like to acknowledge the following people: First and always, my friend Kathy Chamberlain, whose ear for what is true has been a very large part of making my career what it has become.
And my late editor, Susan Kamil, who believed in me in a way that allowed me the freedom to write what I needed to and wanted to.
I would like to acknowledge as well Andy Ward, my wonderful current editor, who took over with great grace; Gina Centrello, my advocate and publisher; my entire team at Random House, whom I have cared about deeply; my steadfast and unbelievably attuned agents, Molly Friedrich and Lucy Carson; my daughter, Zarina Shea, for her generosity and belief; Darrell Waters, my old friend who inspired this story; my friends Beverly Gologorsky and Jeannie Crocker and Ellen Crosby for listening to me; Lee and Sandy Cummings, who were invaluable in assisting in the research of the German POW experience in Maine; the magnificent Benjamin Dreyer, for being who he is as my copy editor, “Dr. B.” And also, Marty Feinman, for his support of my work all these years, thank you.
And to Laura Linney, who unwittingly and miraculously gave bloom to this entire book, thank you as well.