揑 get it. No time to pull yourself away from the bean.?
揜ight.?My face turns redder with every lie.
揧ou never told me why you抮e a coffee freak.?
I look over and he抯 so close, his face mere inches from mine.
Close enough to see the imperfections on a person抯 face, but Cole has zero. No scars, no lines, no deceit swirling in his eyes.
Just good, honest grumpy bossman who sometimes lets his storminess fade to distant thunder.
Seeing him this close renders me breathless. I think he takes my silence as hesitation.
He smiles warmly. 揘o judgment. If anyone should take coffee so seriously, it抯 me. I just can抰 muster the same spark. Not like you, so I抦 curious.?
揗y obsession actually started with a prank when I was seven…？I say slowly, unsure if I want to tell him this story. But he makes me weirdly comfortable when we抮e lounging like this.
揝even? You were already addicted as a first grader??
Laughing, I nod. 揘ot like you think, but…it抯 a sad story. My dad and I liked to prank each other all the time, so one day I emptied the sugar holder on the kitchen table and filled it with salt. My dad came home from work, started the coffee pot梬hich was strange because he usually only had his coffee in the morning梐nd slumped down at the table with a steaming cup. He put five heaping teaspoons of salt in his coffee and took a big drink棓
Cole snorts. 揑 suppose he didn抰 appreciate your early experiments.?
揌e burst into tears,?I say quietly.
The amusement on his face vanishes.
揟ears? He cried over a bad cup of coffee??
I glance down as the memory returns in vivid, painful detail.
That only brings the crown of my head closer to Cole抯 face. It抯 the most natural thing in the world when his lips brush my hair and he breathes me in.
I take a deep, halting breath, loving how his chest swells, relishing the moment before I hurry back to the story.
Neither of us should make more of this than it is.
We抮e just two people enjoying a splendid Hawaiian afternoon.
揟urns out, Dad got laid off from the job he had for twenty years before he came home that evening. My mom was a stay-at-home mother at the time. He was scared.?I lick my lips softly. 揑 guess some men tie their self-worth to their livelihoods, so losing the job was a huge deal. But I realized if I hadn抰 messed with his coffee…he might have held it together. He wouldn抰 have had a breakdown.?
I pause, tingling as Cole lays his chin softly over my hair.
揟here are lessons in pain,?he whispers knowingly. 揈specially the kind that抯 so innocent. You didn抰 mean to hurt him.?
揧eah梐nd that抯 how I learned how powerful a good cup of coffee can be. I knew it had to be when a bad cup could be so devastating. Oh, and when my mom came and sat down beside him, she picked up the cup, sipped it, and said 慣his is different. Like sea salt caramel without the caramel. I like it.?Crazy part is, she wasn抰 joking. So I also learned that people can have drastically different tastes.?
I look up into his sky-blue eyes, fixed on me now, bright and protective and safe.
揟he guilt ate at me, of course,?I continue. 揑 apologized until I was blue in the face, but the man just wanted a break梠ne tiny little break梐nd I had to shit up his coffee with salt. I had to make it up to him. I spent years trying to brew him the best cup of cheap drip coffee he抎 ever had. Like I could somehow make it good enough to forgive what I抎 done. To forgive myself, maybe.?
Cole chuckles softly, his big chest vibrating against me.
揑f that抯 the worst thing you ever did to your old man, I抦 sure he forgave you,?he says.
揌e did, but it抯 not the point. I made one of the worst days of his life worse. I saw how big the little things can get when you抮e already feeling crappy.?
揑 would have been damn lucky if my parents showed that much emotion, for what it抯 worth. They were stiff, no-nonsense people,?he says slowly, turning his attention back to the churning ocean. 揟hey didn抰 spend time with me the way I do with Dess. For them, my life was planned from the time I could walk, learning to take over what was then Noble Bean when the time came.?He sighs.
God help me.
My heart bleeds a little for Cole.
揑抦 sure it wasn抰 easy,?I whisper.
揑t wasn抰 all bad. I grew up comfortably and my future was clear. I accepted having my life hitched to a legacy.?He pauses, inhaling me again like he needs the scent of my hair. 揟his place may fall apart if and when Destiny takes over, but I stood at my father抯 funeral years ago, struggling to care. When the delayed grief hit, it was more like I抎 never had a father than if I抎 just lost my dad.?
Again, my heart nosedives. Knowing he抯 had at least two big losses in life must be partly why he抯 so closed off.