“I can’t believe you carry around this picture all the time,” I manage. It doesn’t escape me that there are tons of pictures of the kids without me. He chose to carry one that had me in it.
“Yeah,” he says. “It’s my favorite.”
How could Jack have said Noah is responsible for all the bad things that have happened? He couldn’t possibly be. All he wants is to get home to his family. Just like I do.
“Anyway.” Noah tugs on his shirt collar. “I’m going to try to clean my clothes tonight. I can’t stay in these muddy things another day.”
“I know,” I say. There’s also a shower I would love to get into, but I couldn’t seem to get the water to heat up. A cold shower isn’t terribly appealing. “I’m going to wash mine, so I can do yours too.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“I don’t mind.”
He smiles crookedly. “Okay then.”
We both head to the bedroom. As soon as the door is closed, I kick off my muddy sneakers, then peel off my sweaty, dirty socks. It feels so good to wiggle my toes and feel the fresh air. Then I peel off my dirty shorts and shirt. I can’t wait to get them clean.
I look up and see that Noah has done the same. He’s down to just his boxer shorts.
It’s funny. Every single night for over a decade, we have undressed and gotten into bed together. But this feels different. When I look over at Noah’s bare chest, I feel something for him that I haven’t felt in a long time. Somehow I’d forgotten how good he looked without a shirt on.
And when I meet his eyes, I realize he’s looking at me the same way.
“Hey,” he says.
“Hey,” I say back.
He grins shyly at me. “Have I ever told you how sexy you look in a bra and panties?”
I smile back. “Not lately…”
“Well…” He comes around the bed to get closer to me. “That is a huge oversight on my part, and I have to apologize.”
“You’re forgiven.”
He’s standing less than a foot away from me. “Am I?”
“Absolutely.”
He slowly lowers his lips onto mine, and my whole body tingles the way it did when he first kissed me all those years ago. A second later, he’s tugging me into the bed. This trip has been one of the worst experiences of my life, but I think it may have saved my marriage.
As long as we make it home alive.
Chapter 35
ANONYMOUS
After my first set of exams in college was over, I drove home.
It was a three-hour drive, but it was worth it. College wasn’t like home. Even though my roommate and I got along, I needed time away. I wanted to be back in my own bedroom—not in that cramped dorm room on a stiff twin bed. Moreover, I wanted to see my dad.
After my mother killed herself, my father finally cut back on his time on the road. He was shaken by the whole thing. He wasn’t the same guy he used to be. He blamed himself, and the guilt kept him home. It wasn’t how I wanted it to happen, but it happened.
He helped me lug my boxes from home to my dorm room, although I did a lot of lifting thanks to his bad back. And that’s the last time I saw him. We talked on the phone once a week, but I worried. He looked old when he said goodbye to me at the entrance to my dorm. He wasn’t going to be around forever. He didn’t eat right and barely exercised. For all I knew, he could have a heart attack before I even finished college.
So that’s why I drove out. I asked beforehand to make sure he wasn’t going to be on a business trip, but I didn’t mention I was coming. I figured we could watch a movie together on TV. Maybe share a couple of beers. Yeah, I wasn’t twenty-one yet, but he wasn’t bothered by things like that.
By the time I got to the house, it was dark. I hit traffic, and then when it started to get late, I stopped for fast food. A quarter pounder with cheese. French fries. A chocolate milkshake. My mom never let me have fast food, so I was having too much of it. I was still skinny as a rail though.
I parked on the street since my father’s car was in the driveway and I didn’t want to block him. The house was dark too. Apparently, he wasn’t home, even though his car was there.
It didn’t matter. As long as he wasn’t away on a business trip, he would be back. He probably went out for a beer with his buddies from work and planned to bum a ride home. It would be good to have the house to myself for a couple of hours.
I let myself into the house and went straight upstairs to my bedroom on the second floor. It was a long drive and I was tired. I flicked on the lights and dumped my duffel bag with clothing for the weekend on my bed. Then I flopped down on the mattress and shut my eyes.