Noah and I might have survived, but nothing will bring Jack and Michelle back. Every time I think about it, I feel a sting of sadness.
Why would Lindsay do it? Yes, I always knew she was a little odd. She was passionate about right and wrong, especially when it came to the opposite sex. Of course, when I looked back, all my memories of her took on a new light. When we were in college, we were sharing some beers outside a bar and some guy approached us and wouldn’t take no for an answer. Lindsay broke her beer bottle against the wall and shoved the jagged edge close to the guy’s neck. He took off quickly after that.
I always admired Lindsay for that one. I never would have had the nerve to threaten some creep with a broken beer bottle. But now when I look back at that night, I remember the gleam in her eyes and how much she seemed to enjoy seeing him squirm.
And then, of course, there was Ted. My ex-boyfriend who I caught cheating on me. How furious she had been on my behalf. I was furious too. I remember her ranting, He should pay for doing this to you. But I never imagined she would feel the need to exact justice.
In the end, I disappointed Lindsay just like everyone else did. Maybe I didn’t deserve to die, but she was right that I did something terrible. I’m not sure if I’ll ever forgive myself, even though Noah has forgiven me.
As Emma clings to my hips, I wonder how I’m going to tell the kids that Aunt Lindsay is going to jail for the rest of her life. And that she’s the one who tried to kill their mother. They both adored Lindsay—honestly, I think Aiden had a crush. Maybe I can make up some creative lies.
“I missed you guys so much,” I say.
Noah reaches out and squeezes my hand. I feel a rush of affection for the man that only a few days ago, I would have said I hated. I thought he and I were done. I believed when we returned home, we would be talking about how to split our house and our bank accounts.
“It’s good to be home,” he says.
I squeeze his hand back.
_____
Emma and I are making dinner for the family tonight. Noah suggested ordering in pizza, but after everything we’ve been through, I feel like a home-cooked meal is in order. Unfortunately, we don’t have much food in the house because we had been planning to be gone for a week, but there’s enough to throw together a casserole.
“Do you need any help here?” Noah asked before he went to play Aidan’s favorite video game with him. But he didn’t ask in the begrudging way he used to. He asked like he really wanted to help.
“No, we’re good,” I told him.
“Are you sure?” He slid his hands around my waist and pulled me close to him. “Because whatever you need…”
I smiled. “We’ll be fine. But maybe later this week, you and I can have a night out.”
He leaned in to kiss me. “You read my mind.”
So now Emma and I are throwing together a casserole. She’s scooping out the contents of a can of cream of mushroom soup into my large pan, and I’m stirring the egg noodles on the stove. The oven is preheating itself to four-hundred degrees.
“I love cream of mushroom soup,” Emma comments. She digs her spoon into the soup and takes a mouthful of it.
I cringe. Is it okay for a kid to eat raw soup? “Emma…”
“But Mommy, it’s yum!”
No way that’s “yum.” But whatever. It won’t kill her.
“I’m so glad you’re home,” Emma says. “I told you something bad was going to happen on the trip.”
Once again, Emma’s premonition came true. Well, sort of. “You said a monster was going to eat us.”
She eats another spoonful of cold soup. “Well, I got worried because Daddy said he was going to take that hike.”
“Hike? You mean go fishing.”
“Nuh uh.” She licks soup off her fingers. “Hike. In the woods.”
“Are… are you sure?”
She nods. “With Uncle Jack.”
I shake my head. “No, I was going to go on a hike with Uncle Jack.”
“Daddy was too,” Emma insists. “I heard them talking about it on the phone. They were going on a hike, just the two of them.”
Emma is looking up at me with her wide brown eyes. She has a great memory, and if she says she heard Noah and Jack planning a solo hike together, I’m sure that’s exactly what happened. And there’s nothing wrong with that. After all, that’s why we were going out to that remote inn. So we could hike and fish and whatever.
So why does this revelation make me feel uneasy?