Ana’s brow dipped. ‘Why not?’
‘It’s been almost a year now. Ed finds it indulgent.’
Ana went very still. ‘Indulgent?’
‘Yes.’
She blinked. ‘He’s said that?’
Eleanor felt a thrilling sense of the telltale. ‘Yes.’
Ana’s back seemed to straighten, vertebra by vertebra. ‘A long soak in a bubble bath is indulgent. A second slice of cake is indulgent. Grieving for the person who you planned to spend your life with is not indulgent. How dare he!’
Eleanor found herself sitting taller as she pictured herself using Ana’s words, repeating them to Ed. She felt a spark of fire in her belly, a heat that she liked.
The interesting thing about a spark, Eleanor thought as she looked at Ana, was that it either burns out, or begins to smoulder – and then flame.
FRIDAY
26
Bella
Bella stood at the bow of the yacht, hair blowing in the wind. Sea spray misted her sunglasses and the air fizzed with salt and ozone. She wanted to do Titanic arms to make Lexi and the others laugh, but she didn’t trust boats. Two hands on the guardrail at all times, thank you.
She’d announced the yacht trip over breakfast, telling the others, ‘Pack your swimwear and sunscreen. We’re going on an excursion!’
She adored surprises. She would never understand people who rolled their eyes at the thought of them. What, they didn’t like that little kick of anticipation? The sense of letting go? Lighten up!
When the yacht had sailed into their bay, it was even more exquisite than she’d imagined with its varnished wooden hull parting the clear turquoise waters. The six of them had been waiting on the shore, beach bags hooked over their shoulders, sunscreen scenting the air. Lexi had gasped. ‘Is that for us?’
‘Sure is. We’re sailing off into the big blue to snorkel and sunbathe.’
Lexi had thrown her arms around Bella, hugging her so tightly that she’d left behind an imprint of sunscreen on Bella’s dress.
This was going to be a good day, Bella decided, turning her face into the sun. After last night’s disastrous quiz she needed to get the hen party back on track – and this was the way to do it.
Yannis, their ageing captain, wore a crumpled shirt unbuttoned to the navel, his tanned face peppered with greying stubble. He pointed towards a tiny islet to the east. ‘Beautiful snorkelling there.’ He steered the yacht into the wind and sea spray lifted over the bow, soaking Bella’s bare legs.
Cowed by the breaking waves, Bella picked her way carefully along the side of the yacht. Fen was sitting at the stern, her body turned towards the water, chin resting on her hands. She was wearing cut-offs and a loose vest, the fabric billowing in the breeze. Bella couldn’t see her eyes behind her sunglasses, but sensed she was lost in the spaciousness of the moment. She stopped herself from climbing on Fen’s lap.
Bella always loved company, noise, a good dose of chaos. Whenever she returned to her empty flat, she’d switch on the radio or television, then throw open a window so she could hear the outside world buzzing by. A chat with Alexa wasn’t out of the question. Maybe it was a product of growing up in a big family. Her mother said the only way she could get Bella to sleep as a baby was by putting her Moses basket on the lounge table, amidst the chatter and chaos and blare of the television. ‘You’ve always needed to be at the centre of things.’
But not Fen. Baby-Fen probably fell asleep in a quiet room with blackout blinds and sound-proofed walls. Adult-Fen didn’t even own a television （quite how she functioned in the modern world was still part mystery to Bella）。
‘You okay?’ she asked, perching beside her, their thighs brushing. What she really meant was, Are we okay?
Last night she’d woken to find Fen’s side of the bed empty. Bella had gone to the window and spotted Fen standing alone on the dark terrace, staring over the low wall towards the boneyard of rocks below. There was something perturbing about her stillness out there in the middle of the night. Pulling a T-shirt on, Bella had padded down to check on her, but Fen had crossed her on the stairs, insisting she was fine. Just getting some air.
Now Fen echoed that response again. ‘I’m fine.’ She smiled lightly. The wind had fingered her short hair, so it stood up at the roots.
‘What are you thinking?’ Oh God. Had she really asked that? Such a sappy, needy question.
‘Just how nice it is to be on the water, I guess.’
Of course that wasn’t what Fen was really thinking – but what could Bella say? I don’t believe you! Tell me what you’re really thinking! She had some pride. ‘Maybe next summer we could come back. Stay for longer. Even if the villa’s been sold, we could find somewhere else. I love this island.’