Ana’s palms came together as if in prayer. ‘I’m sorry.’
For what? Lexi thought, aware of her quickening pulse.
A flaming branch crumbled, sparks dancing into the night.
Ana set her hands on either side of her, as if trying to balance. ‘We met a long time ago. At university.’
‘What?’ Lexi said, with a shake of her head. ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’
‘I told you that I left university because I fell pregnant with Luca.’ Ana drew a breath. Looked straight at Lexi. ‘Ed is his father.’
Lexi wanted to laugh because it was absurd! No! Not true! She waited for Bella to shoot down the wildness of the claim, but there was only silence, Ana’s statement smouldering in the heat of the flames.
She turned to Bella, needing her to translate. ‘Is this true? My Ed?’
Her face was set, grim. ‘Yes.’
Lexi stumbled to her feet. ‘Oh God!’
‘I’m sorry,’ Ana was saying, rising too. ‘I didn’t want you to hear like this. I wanted to talk to you properly. I know this is a terrible shock.’
‘Does Ed know about Luca?’ Lexi asked, her voice small. ‘He can’t know, can he?’
‘I told him when I found out I was pregnant. He didn’t want to be involved. He – he pays maintenance, but he and Luca have never met.’
Ed knows about Luca? The pebbles beneath her bare feet seemed to shift, slide away. Her head spun, thoughts whirling. Nothing made sense. ‘But I’ve talked to Ed about you. He knows your name. Knows you were coming on the hen weekend. He would’ve said something! Told me!’
‘You call me Ana – but Ed only knows me by my full name, Juliana. He wouldn’t have realised.’
‘But you did,’ Bella said, chin jutting forward, red shawl cloaking her shoulders. With her finger pointed at Ana, she said, ‘You knew perfectly well who Lexi was. You chased down her friendship. You made sure you planted yourself right at her side. You knew who she was – and who she was marrying – when you agreed to come on her hen weekend!’
A deep trembling had overtaken Lexi’s body. She stood on the dark beach staring at Ana, a woman she’d admired, respected, trusted.
Ana tried to appeal to Lexi. ‘You are my friend. That part is real.’
Lexi’s voice was shredded with confusion as she asked, ‘When you came to my yoga class, did you know who I was?’
Ana held her gaze. ‘Yes.’
Lexi let out a sharp exhale, as if she’d been punched. She clasped her arms tight to herself. A drift of wood smoke weaved between them, stinging her eyes.
Beside her, Bella seethed, ‘I never trusted you.’
‘This has nothing to do with you,’ Ana said.
‘It’s got everything to do with me. Lexi is my best friend.’ Bella took a step closer. ‘You need to pack your bag and get the fuck away from us.’
‘Lexi, please!’ Ana said, appealing to her. ‘Let’s go up to the villa. Talk.’
Lexi felt strangely disconnected from her body, as if she were observing herself, watching the three of them standing on the beach, lit by the fire. Her thoughts were rushed, impossible to grasp. She needed space, distance, silence. She looked at Ana. Shook her head. ‘No.’
‘Please, if you just give me a chance—’
‘You heard!’ Bella cut in.
Ana swung around. Her expression had changed, her face hard, eyes narrowed. ‘Keep out of this! You’re not Lexi’s bodyguard!’
‘I’m protecting her!’ Bella’s eyes glittered, her word endings slurred.
Lexi felt her hands rising to her head, squeezing the sides of her skull. The volume. There was too much noise. Too much everything.
‘You think that this is protecting her?’ Ana shot back. ‘Slamming her with this news out here?’
‘You’re lecturing me on friendship?’ Bella cried, incredulous.
Lexi’s voice was low, shaken. ‘I can’t do this.’
‘See!’ Bella said to Ana, triumphant. She hurried to Lexi’s side, staggering as she hooked her arm too tightly around her waist. Lexi caught the alcoholic tang of her breath. Pulled away.
‘Let me help you, babe.’
Lexi stared at her, eyes shining with tears. ‘You’ve done enough.’
67
Robyn
Robyn picked her way along the narrow cliff path. She had no torch but the moon was high and bright, bathing the mountain in a silvery wash. She felt dust and stone beneath the press of her bare feet.