In the morning Dad remembered the only connection his failing neurons could make, saying he’d seen George Nell, who had been dead for years. At the time I’d brushed it off as confusion, but it hadn’t been. In a strange way it made perfect sense.
Because when George Nell had been alive, he’d lived in Rachel and David’s house.
I came back to myself and realized Rachel was staring at me. The other women had rejoined their families, and she was standing alone, clutching the empty beer bottle to her chest, knuckles white. The look was in her eyes now, the one that could send a little ripple of unease through me, one that spoke of a well of strength with no bottom.
Everyone has a breaking point, and I knew Rachel had reached hers that night.
We continued to look at one another, something passing between us—unspoken knowledge leading to a precipice. A divide. Before and after.
After a breathless moment, I gave her a smile. Slowly she returned it.
Somewhere, I felt that everything was going to be all right.
See, my problem is I’m a romantic.
RESOURCES
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a national network of local crisis centers that provides free and confidential emotional support to people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. They are committed to improving crisis services and advancing suicide prevention by empowering individuals, advancing professional best practices, and building awareness.
Call 1-800-273-8255 or visit https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
The Trevor Project is the world’s largest suicide prevention and crisis intervention organization for LGBTQ （lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, and questioning） young people. Visit https://www.thetrevorproject.org/
The Human Rights Campaign has resources to help you come out and live openly at home, at work, and in your community. Visit https://www.hrc.org/resources/coming-out
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Thanks goes out to my family as always—I couldn’t do any of this without you. Thanks to my agent, Laura Rennert—I’m beyond grateful to have someone so dedicated and supportive in my corner. Thanks to my editor, Liz Pearsons, for truly believing in me and the book. Thanks to Jacque Ben-Zekry, who continually pushes me to be a better writer. Thanks to Matt Iden, Blake Crouch, Matt FitzSimmons, Dori Pulley, Richard Brown, and Steven Konkoly—I’m beyond privileged to count you as friends and am so grateful for your generosity and insight. Thanks to the Thomas & Mercer team for believing in stories while helping bring them to life. And thanks to all the readers who continue to make what I do possible; the books are nothing without you.